Black Sunday Baby D Series
by Mamma D
Summary: Black Donnellys Nicky Cottero know that Jimmy and Tommy killed Louis Downtown. Now it's time for Tommy to pay. Please READ & REVIEW! PLEASE READ & REVIEW! It would mean a lot!
1. Late Afternoon

**Late Afternoon**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

The late afternoon sun's rays shone through the curtains of Sarah Sheehan's apartment bedroom. The air was thick with so much humidity and heat that beads of condensation pooled around the bottom of the half empty water glass sitting on the night table next to her bed.

There had been a few summer afternoons like this, spent in each other's arms. Tommy Donnelly would come over on a break from the bar, and just lay in the bed with her, sometimes not even speaking to one another. It was just what they did, enjoying each other's company. But today was different. Today, tension hung like a solid mass above their heads. She could feel it even before as they were making love.

Quietly Sarah traced lines up and down his bare chest as he held her close to him in the bed. Sighing heavily he stared up at the ceiling, thoughts running through his head. He could feel the sweat still lingering on his brow from making love to her not long ago. Wiping the remaining sweat from his forehead, he sighed again, not being able to clear his head of the tormenting thought that crowded it. Sometimes Sarah wondered if he was still thinking about Jenny.

Jenny Reilly was once the love of Tommy's life, and Sarah knew it. Though they had never really been _together_, there had never been a lacklustre moment between them. Tommy and Jenny had grown up together as childhood friends, and in their time, were inseparable. He had loved her with all his young heart could bear. There were even times when Sarah still wondered if it wasn't still true today. She was reminded of it every time she passed by _Reilly's Diner & Coffee Shop_ where she worked, on the way to her apartment. And if it wasn't for Huey's funeral, and how Jenny broke his heart with another man, maybe Jenny would be next to him now. But that was almost half a year ago. Things were different now…

"Tommy," Sarah traced her finger down his stomach, and around each of his finely sculpted abdominal muscles. "Can I ask you something?" She looked up at him with her dark brown eyes. Her auburn hair was matted to her skin from the both the heat of the room and of their bodies next to one another under the sheets.

"Yeah, sure." He held her hand in his, resting his head on his other arm. Sarah hesitated before speaking.

"What happened today, when you went to see Nicky this morning?" Sarah paused, knowing she had just asked a loaded question. She knew just enough of their history to know that they weren't on very good terms at all. Tommy turned his head away from her and looked at the brightly backlit window.

"Tommy," she pleaded again, nuzzling her nose against his side.

"Sarah please, don't okay?" He took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze, hoping she would drop the sensitive subject.

"Are you in trouble? I know what's going on between two. What does he want?" She sat up in the bed looking worriedly at Tommy who tore off the sheets and stood up out of the bed. Shaking his head, he walked naked into the bathroom, turning on the water for the shower. He ran it a little cooler than usual, hoping to counteract the heat of the day.

"Tommy!" Sarah wrapped the sheets around her and walked over to the washroom just as he was stepping in the shower. Seeing her in the doorway, he pulled the curtain shut. "Tommy!" She pulled them open again looking up at him as the cool water ran over his face and down his body. "What does he want?!"

"Sarah, please, just drop it, there is nothing going on, nothing, okay?" He yelled frustrated more at the situation he was in then at her. He immediately saw the hurt in her eyes, realizing what he had done. "Sarah, I'm sorry," he looked down at her standing outside the shower.

"I just..."

"I know, I know. But I don't want you to worry about it okay? I've got everything under control. Trust me, I wouldn't let anything happen to you." He placed a cool wet reassuring hand on her cheek. Water trailed down his arm and dripped from his elbow onto the floor mat. She sighed, trying to shake the feeling that he was keeping something big from her. "Why don't you come join me in here? It'll make you feel better." She looked up at him for a moment, somehow trying to see what he was hiding from her.

"Come on," he took her hand and she dropped the sheet from around her revealing herself again to him. He carefully helped her into the slippery tub and closed the shower curtain. Goosebumps covered her skin as the cold water washed over her, turning her auburn hair a dark brown. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, just glad to have someone close to him in that moment. He kissed her cheek as he ran the sudsy luffa up and down her arm.

"Tommy, I know you don't want me to get involved, and I understand that. I just want to know if you're in some kind of trouble. I just want to know if you're going to come home at night." She closed her eyes and turned her head resting it on his arm, the cool water falling on her chest.

"Sarah, don't worry, no matter what happens, I'll always come back for the ones I love." Tommy stopped short, realizing the words had come out without him even thinking about them. Sarah paused, letting the words sink in. He had never said it before. As she thought about it, the only person she had ever heard him say that to was his mother.

"Tommy, I…"

"Don't have to worry okay? Nothing's going to happen to me," he cut her off quickly. Taking the showerhead down, he turned her around and rinsed the soap out of her dark hair and off the rest of her body. She remained quiet as he finished, shutting off the water and returning the showerhead back to its place. Stepping out of the tub, he wrapped one towel around his waist and then the other around Sarah as she followed him out of the tub. She stared up at him, holding the fluffy yellow towel to her body.

"It's gonna be all right," he kissed her lightly freckled forehead before leaving the washroom. She stood for a moment watching him towel dry his hair and grab clean clothes from his small duffel bag by the bedside. Sitting on the end of the bed he pulled his underwear on, followed by his dark denim jeans. "You working today?" He looked up at her as he zipped the fly of his pants.

"Yeah, I got the late shift tonight at the restaurant, Lisa's off sick so I have to fill in for her. I could use the money anyway." Sarah dried off her hair with a smaller towel before hanging it back on the door and leaving the washroom.

"What, are you tight for money?" Tommy stopped in the middle of buttoning his shirt to look up at Sarah who was putting her underwear and pants on across the room.

"No, no I just, I'm a little behind on the rent is all, but I'll have it all paid off by Tuesday," she dropped the large towel from around her and she put her bra and shirt on.

"If you need money..." Not that he really had any to give, but he would have found it for her anyway.

"No, it's okay. I'll have it all paid off by Tuesday, It's all right." She brushed her hair quickly in the mirror, and applied what little makeup she needed. Looking over at the clock next to her water glass, she cursed.

"What?"

"It's five o'clock already, I have to get going. I have to go to school before I head to work tonight." Tommy had met Sarah at the School of Visual Arts just over on E 23rd St. at a show she had put together in one of the campus galleries. This, she remembered, was not too long after Huey's wake. She remembered how he had just opened up to her over a few beers at his family's pub, after her show had ended

"Shit, shit, shit." She grabbed her things up and put it in her backpack.

"You want me to get you from work in the morning? Maybe we can go for breakfast?" He stood up by the door as she dropped her things to the floor and threw a zip hoodie on.

"Uh, yeah sure," she gathered her things back up as Tommy opened the door for. Her.

"See ya," she awkwardly glanced at him, not sure of what else to say. His earlier words still rang in her ears.

"Bye," he watched as she left him with a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight." He called after her. He had the feeling his display of emotions earlier had made her a little uncomfortable. He stepped inside and closed the door, leaning his back against it. He sighed, resting his head against the door. He was going to have to deal with Nicky soon than later; he might as well take care of it now.

As Sarah made her way to the bus, she saw Jenny inside the diner where she worked. Sarah slowed her pace, watching Jenny as she argued with Jimmy, Tommy's older brother. Jimmy was flailing his arms around in what looked to be a heated conversation. Just as Jenny was about to respond, she turned her head to catch Sarah's eye outside the window as she was walking by. Jenny immediately stopped talking to Jimmy and walked behind the bar. Jimmy then turned to see Sarah just before she was out of view.


	2. Sheehan's

**Sheehan's**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

Sarah wiped her forehead, as she made her way behind the counter of her father's restaurant _Sheehan's, _which in the neighbourhood was considered to be a place for upscale, fine dining in the midst of Hell's Kitchen. Even though it was almost three o'clock in the morning, the place was packed of teens and young adults, who had apparently just left a school event of some kind and found _Sheehan's_ for some after-party relief. The fact that the air in the kitchen was almost the same temperature as the oven, added to the fact that she was completely exhausted and frustrated didn't help her mood either.

"Sarah!" Her co-worker Caroline called to her as she was filling the salt and pepper shakers. "Sarah!" She called again, making her way over to her. "Sarah!" Sarah, frustrated and distracted dropped the large salt container on the floor, spilling it everywhere.

"What Carrie?!" She pounded the counter before turning around to face her. Caroline, who stood a petite 5'4, wiped her brunette hair out of her face, looking just as frustrated as Sarah that they were unexpectedly, understaffed that night.

"Sorry, there's someone at table thirteen looking for you."

"I don't have table thirteen today."

"I know, but they're asking for you to pick up the bill," Caroline put her hands up, not wanting to fight about it. Sarah wiped her forehead again in exasperation. "They said they wanted you to do it."

"Fine," she grabbed the bill from Caroline as she briskly walked by her. Throwing the two-way door open, she quickly glanced over the bill and the credit card in the sleeve as she made her way, without even looking, to table thirteen. "I hope everything was to your liking," she placed the sleeve down on the table. When she looked up, Nicky Cottero and three other men sitting with him were staring back at her.

"Well the service was lousy and I think the food is giving me indigestion," he put his hand to his stomach as he looked over the bill. "You know Sarah," She immediately put her hand to her chest to check for her name tag which wasn't there. "You'd think a pretty girl like you would have some brains in her head, and wouldn't waste her time with no good people like the Donnelly's. We finally know what you little boyfriend did. We don't let those kind of things go easily." He picked up the pen and began to write on the bill. "Maybe one day you'll stop wasting your time with them and try some Italian," he winked at her as he and the rest of the men stood up. Handing the sleeve back to her, he patted her on the behind. "Be careful out there babe, it's dog eat dog," he whispered in her ear as they all left the restaurant. "You think she'd learn from the last mistake he tried to get with." She could just hear them laugh as the door closed behind them. Sarah's heart thumped in her chest, as she stood stunned at the table. Looking down, she opened the sleeve to look at the bill. He had written 'Watch your back...' across the receipt without signing it. This was going to have to come out of her own pocket. It was all of her tips from the night. She took a deep, tired breath as she made her way back to the till counting the tip money she kept in the front of her apron.

"Carrie, do you have two bucks I can have?" Giving her a confused look, she pulled two one-dollar bills out of her apron and slapped them in her hand.

"Ugh," she punched in the order and closed the sale. Feeling a sharp pain behind her eyes, she went back into the kitchen. "Larry, I'm taking a second, I'll be back out shortly!" She yelled back at one of the chefs in the kitchen, who merely lifted his knife in recognition and went back to work. Sarah sat down in one her father's office, which was a small room at the very back of the kitchen. On the desk was a picture of her and her father at an Independence Day parade a few years back. She smiled at it before resting her head back on the plush leather chair behind the desk. Closing her eyes, she tried to soothe the pain she felt pounding on the back of her eyes and on the top of her skull. As the moments, passed by she could feel the throbbing pain start to slowly recede.

"Sarah!" A voice suddenly cut into the quiet of the room, bringing back the pain in her head. She moaned as she sat forward, rubbing her forehead with her fingers she opened her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"There's someone out here to see you," Larry motioned towards the front. Her heart raced again at the thought that it could be Nicky back to talk to her. Slowly she got up from her father's desk and walked through the kitchen to the two-way door.

"Hey!" one of the servers yelled just as she put her foot through the door, taking her by surprise.

"Sorry," she sighed, holding the door for him as he walked back into the kitchen. As she turned back around, there was Tommy waiting by the front door with a rose in his hand and a smile on his face. Relieved, she made her way over to him, stopping behind the greeter's stand.

"Hey," she smiled, happy to see him there. She leaned forward on the podium to be closer to him as he tipped the rose towards her wafting the rose's sweet perfume her way.

"Hey, I came to take you home." He gave her a devilish grin.

"Is it three already? We've just been so busy here, I've barely had time to catch my breath." She looked down at her watch. Tommy looked around at all of the people in the restaurant.

"Are you still up for breakfast? We could go to Cora's, It's not too far a walk from here." He leaned in to nuzzle her neck, taking in the subtle scent of lilacs. It was the perfume he had bought her for her birthday, which he loved, and she wore every day just for him.

"I dunno, Tommy, I'm just so tired you know? Would you be mad if we just had breakfast at home, I'm sure I have stuff in the fridge I could make."

"Whatever you want, but I'm making breakfast this morning, you've done enough for today."

"Okay," she could help but smile again. "I'll meet you out back." He left a whisper of a kiss on her lips before she turned away, her cheeks almost the same color as the rose he had given her. Quickly she ran back to the kitchen where Caroline was picking up an order.

"Carrie I'm off! It's three! Holly should be coming in soon!" She barely got out before she finished counting out and ran into her father's office to grab her things. Doing a once over of the office to make sure she didn't leave anything in her rush, she headed for the back door where she found Tommy sitting on the stoop, waiting for her.

"Hey," he stood up with a smile that was brighter the moon in the sky, "you ready?" She hopped into his arms off the stoop.

"Let's go." She took his hand in hers, happy to see him after the gruelling shift she had just had.

"So how was work? I saw it was busy." Looking down at the cracked, wet, pavement, she remembered what Nicky had said to her.

"Uh," she paused, her voice cracking a bit. She knew Tommy saw the expression on her face change from the happy girl who had just jumped into his arms, to one of distress and worry as they walked hand in hand. She sighed, pondering if it was a good idea to tell him or not. If not for the dim of the lights surrounding them, he probably would have seen her turn a shade of red.

"What is it?"

"Tommy... someone came in today."

"Who?" He stopped her from walking as they stood in the alleyway, just steps away from the main street, which was empty of people and cars.

"I..."

"Who was it Sarah?" He probed, lowering his head to try and make eye contact with her. She didn't answer. "Sarah?"

"Cottero and his guys came in, I wasn't serving them, but they asked for me to pick up their bill..." she trailed off hearing a noise coming from behind one of the dumpsters in the alley dark alleyway.

"They what? Did they do anything? What did they say to you?"

"They basically said I was stupid for being with you."

"Son of a bitch." Tommy wiped his forehead in frustration. "Did they say anything else?" He looked at her. She noticed a car with tinted windows slowly driving by the alley where they stood.

"Tommy..." she could barely get out before the window rolled down and shots were fired in their direction. "Tommy!" She stepped backwards and screamed just before Tommy threw her to the ground, falling on top of her. She felt her head crack against the wet cement, and the full force of Tommy's muscular body being thrown against her back. It all lasted barely ten seconds before the car sped off down the street and out of sight.

"Sarah!" She could hear him yelling on top of her. He panted, out of breath as he called her name. "Sarah!" She felt the weight of his body lift off of her. It was only then, that she felt the scorching pain in her side.

"Oh my God," he looked her over grief stricken. And it was only after hearing those words that she knew she had been hit. She tried to speak as he yelled. She knew she was saying the words she desperately wanted to say, but she couldn't hear the sounds coming out of her mouth. She knew she was going to die, she felt it. She felt the blood seeping out of her side, and both the pain from her wound and from the pressure of Tommy's hand trying to stop the bleeding. She felt her breath shorten and her eyes start to close. She wanted to reach out to him but couldn't feel her hand to move it. "Sarah!" She heard him call to her again, "Sarah, wake up! Sarah... Sarah, wake up! SARAH!"


	3. Wake

**Wake**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

"Sarah!" Sarah jerked out of her sleep, her heart beating what felt like a million miles an hour. She immediately put her hand to her side checking herself. The dream had been so real, and considering how tired she was, it now didn't surprise her how fast she had fallen asleep. She wasn't dead, however the pain in her head from being suddenly yanked out of her sleep almost made her wish she was.

She looked up angry, frustrated and relieved at her co-worker Holly, who was standing in the doorway of the tiny office.

"Sorry to wake you, I was calling your name but you weren't answering." Sarah put her head in her hands and moaned at the throbbing pain behind her eyes. "Listen, why don't you go home, I'm here now, and your shift is just about done anyway." Holly shrugged her shoulders, brushing her bright blue, green and purple hair out of her face. It was usually very meticulously tied up in a bun, but she always seemed to be in a constant battle with her unusually long bangs. She, like Sarah, was tall and slim, almost reaching 5'8".

"Uh, yeah, sure…" Sarah sat up in the chair, looking over on the wall; the large digital clock read 2:34am. Rubbing her forehead once more, she got up out of the large leather desk chair and grabbed her jacket and shoulder bag from underneath the desk.

"You're starting now then?" She squinted her eyes at the bright, fluorescent light coming from the kitchen behind Holly's back.

"Yeah, I'm just about to pick up your orders for the night. Don't worry about it, go home, you look exhausted, and I could use the tips." Sarah glared at her as she put her jacket on.

"Don't worry, I was only kidding, I'll put your tips in an envelope and leave it on the desk for you, now go!" Holly patted her on the back as she left the office. "I'll see you on Monday." She smiled, waving.

As she opened the two-way door a sense of déjà vu came to her. Half expecting Tommy to be there, she looked over at the greeter's stand, but the only person standing there was Josh, the new and somewhat clumsy greeter.

"Where is he?" She asked herself before taking her cell phone out of her bag. She sat in one of the "waiting" chairs next to Josh at the podium. He smiled at her awkwardly as she listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tommy, what's up?" She turned her head towards the door, looking at the random people who passed by the restaurant.

"Not much, you done work already?" She could people in the background arguing.

"Yeah, Holly came in early. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm just having a drink with Jimmy and Kevin here at the bar. You still want to go for breakfast like we said?" Something loud crashed in the background on his end.

"What was that? Tommy, are you okay?" She thought back to what Nicky had written on the invoice, about watching her back.

"Yeah, yeah, Jimmy's just a little drunk, he dropped a glass." He looked back at his brothers who were arguing by the bar. Jimmy had been drinking again, but he was more frustrated and angry then drunk. "Listen, I'll be there in a few okay? Let me just finish up here, and I'll see you soon." His voice softened ever so slightly as she heard the noise continued in the background.

"Are you sure you don't want me to just meet you there?"

"No, no, it's okay. I'll see you in a bit. And I have a present for you." She smiled at the thought of it.

"Okay, I'll wait here, don't be too long though okay? I have a massive headache and they'll ask me to go back to work. My dad's coming in too, and I don't want to have to deal with him either."

"I'll be there in a few, don't worry."

"Okay. And Tommy?" She remembered her dream.

"Yeah?" He wiped his forehead, frustrated at his brothers. She could hear the annoyance in his voice.

"We need to talk…" She heard a pause on the other line.

"Is everything okay? Is something wrong?" She could hear the nervousness in his voice as he thought back to what he had said to her the day before.

"Yeah, everything's fine, I just need to talk to you about something that happened today."

"Yeah sure, we can talk over breakfast. I'll be on my way in a minute.

"All right. Tommy?" She paused for a moment, pondering quickly what she was about to say.

"Yeah?" He sounded even more agitated than before.

"I love you." Her heart fluttered a little as she said it.

"I love you too Sarah. See you soon."

Tommy paused, smiling to himself before hanging up the phone. He turned back to his brothers who eyed him curiously.

"Tommy, what are you going to do about this, I mean it was supposed to be taken care of months ago," he walked up to Jimmy, who shook his head at him. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but did I just hear you say 'I love you?'"

"You're wrong. Now can we just focus on what's happening here? Remind me of what Jenny told you yesterday. They came by her place?"

"I've said this a million times already Tommy, it's not helping anything just repeating myself now is it?" He sat down on one of the barstools and kicked the one in front of him over with is good leg. "When I went by Reilly's, I saw Jenny and she said that Nicky had been there with Alo. That they were eyeing up the place, asking how things were going, if she had talked to you in the last bit."

"And?" Tommy leaned over the bar, taking a sip of his Carlsberg. Kevin picked up the stool that Jimmy had just knocked over and sat on it.

"And he told her to be careful." Jimmy drank is his drink. "She's kinda pissed Tommy, she doesn't want them coming in and scaring off her customers. She said she wants nothing to do with any of it and that it's your problem to fix."

"My problem to fix?" Tommy whipped his head around at his older brother. "My problem? Jimmy, correct me if _I'm_ wrong but wasn't it _you _that got us into this mess in the first place? Wasn't it _you_ that killed Louis Downtown? I've been running all over the place for almost 6 months trying to cover your ass." Tommy downed the rest of his beer. "Remind me again, of why I do this for you…"

"Because I'm you're brother, and you guys need me. You need me around here to look after the bar." Jimmy chuckled a little. Kevin and Tommy both looked at him.

"We need you?!" Kevin finally piped up.

"The only reason we 'need' you is because _our _mother would kill us if anything happened to you, that's why we need you, ass." Tommy shook his head. "Look I have to go and get Sarah, I'll be back later tonight to talk to you. Keep an eye on Jenny for me. Let me know if they bother her again," he picked up his jacket from behind the bar and put it on.

"Working two girls at once huh? What's that like?" Jimmy laughed as he took another drink.

"You'll never know," Tommy punched him hard in the arm, causing him to spill his drink all down the front of him, while Kevin stood beside him laughing.

"Real funny," he threw the rest of his drink at his little brother, who gasped as the beer hit him square in the face. "Real freakin' funny…"


	4. Sorry

**Sorry**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

"Tommy I love it," As she sat on her bed, Sarah looked through the art book of Salvador Dali that he had picked up for her the day before. The tray Tommy had brought with the now eaten breakfast lay at the foot of the bed. He sat down beside her, looking through the book with her.

"How's you're critique project going? Is it going to be finished in time?" He motioned towards the half finished painting in the corner of Sarah's apartment. There were dashes of reds, blues, and yellows strewn across the canvas and the outline of a woman and a man embracing on the lower left corner of it. Sarah looked up at it, with a look of disdain on her face.

"I don't even know. I don' have a lot of time right now, and I hate it to begin with. It's just so ugly."

"No," Tommy got up to take a closer look at it. It made him miss being in art classes, and having to do the crit projects. "It's good, you just need to watch how you're blending the paints," He stared at it, reminiscing about his paint-mixing course.

"I know, I'm horrible at it, I would rather be using oils, but I can't afford them right now." Gently, Tommy brushed the textured canvas with the tips of his fingers, missing the feeling of being in front of a blank canvas.

"Tommy?" Sarah closed the book in her lap.

"Yeah?" he cocked his head at the painting.

"Don't be mad okay?" She fidgeted with the corners of the hardcover. Tommy immediately turned around to face her on the bed.

"Okay… What's wrong?" He crossed his arms standing in place.

"Something happened at work today. Someone came in to the restaurant."

"Who?" He had a sneaking suspicion as to who it was.

"Cottero and his guys came in," she finally looked up at him seeing the anger in his face. "I wasn't serving them but they told Carrie to get me to pick up the tab."

"They did what?" His voice dripped with resentment.

"Tommy, nothing really happened but…"

"Bullshit, what else did they say?"

"Tommy…"

"Sarah, what did he say to you?"

"He knew my name, and I wasn't wearing a name-tag, he told me that I was wasting my time with you and that I should be careful, that I should watch my back."

"That son of a bitch," he raked his hand through his hair. The way he was always frustrated, he thought for a moment that he would lose it all.

"He didn't pay his tab either," she added angrily under her breath.

"He what?!" Tommy whipped his head around at her.

"Tommy, you're not allowed to get mad right now, it's my turn," she got up and slammed the book down on her drafting table in the opposite corner.

"Here," he reached into his pocket to get his wallet. "How much was the bill?"

"Tommy that's not even the point! I just didn't like the fact that he came in while I was working you know? I mean, how does he even know who I am? I've never talked to him in my life. And why is he coming into my dad's restaurant? What does he want? I know you didn't want me to get involved but I think I have the right to know now," she all but yelled at him, crossing her arms across the room.

He had tried so hard to keep her away from everything that had been going on, with his brothers, and with Jenny and the Italians. But Alo and Nicky were making it hard from him to continue doing that.

"Sarah I'm sorry…"

"Sorry Tommy? What are you sorry about? That's what I'm trying to figure out here. Are you in trouble? Your brothers? Does Kevin owe money?" She paced back and forth in place.

"Sarah…"

"People like that don't just visit for no reason Tommy, why is he threatening you? Threatening me?" She went on trying to figure it all out. Suddenly she stopped pacing and looked up at him with terror in her eyes.

"Did you kill somebody?" The look of fear and hurt on her face almost broke Tommy's heart. This is what he had wanted to keep from her. He didn't want to lose her, things had been going so well. When he didn't answer her heart raced nervously.

"Oh my God Tommy," she dropped her hands to her sides in disbelief.

"No Sarah…"

"Don't you dare lie to me Tommy."

"Sarah…"

"Oh my God. You're going to lie to me aren't you? And you loving me? Was that just a lie too?" Tears began to form in her eyes, as her lower lip trembled at the thought. "You thought it would keep me around? Maybe shut me up? For at least a bit right?"

"Sarah, I do love you. You're making things up okay, that's not what's going on." Tommy tried to calm her down. The look of betrayal on her face shattered his heart. He had wanted so much to keep this from her. He made his way over to her, trying to calm her down. He reached up to touch her face, but she turned her head away from him.

"Just leave," she said coldly, not even looking at him.

"Sarah, don't do this. It's not what you think."

"Well until you can tell me exactly why Nicky's visiting _me_ at _my dad's_ restaurant, I'm allowed to think whatever I want, and that's what I think is going on Tommy. Who was it? Who did you..." she couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"That's not what's going on Sarah! Please! Just listen to me!" He was so aggravated he found it hard to breathe. But what could he say? The truth would scare her away and a lie would break her heart. He didn't know what to do.

"I haven't heard you deny it yet. God Tommy how could you keep this from me. Why wouldn't you tell me? You obviously don't trust me, so how can you say you love me?"

"Sarah." Tommy could feel the anger emanating from her. He had never wanted to hurt her and it was killing him not to be able to tell her everything. He wanted to, but didn't want to put her in danger at the same time. If they got to her...

"Go." She turned back towards the drafting table with her book on it. His chest clenched when he heard her sniffling.

"Sarah look at me, please," he pleaded. She turned to face him with tears in her eyes.

"Tommy," she looked him in the eye with a face so sad and hurt he could feel it himself, "don't come back until you're ready to talk to me. Honestly." She wiped a tear away before walking past him and opening and holding the door for him. She turned her head away as he walked towards her.

"Sarah, I am sorry." He tried to nuzzle her neck but again she pulled away.

His heart breaking, he walked through the door and into the hallway, turning around just in time to see her slowly close the door in his face.

Sarah sat down on her bed with her head in her hands. She could feel that Tommy was still outside the door even though she couldn't see him. How could he do this to her? How could he do it in general? What kind of person was Tommy Donnelly? All these thoughts raced though her head as she sat. Wiping her tears away she looked out the window at the sun coming up over the horizon. It was the reason she had chosen this apartment, because of the fantastic view of the city and the horizon. Plus it didn't hurt that it was half the price of the apartments everywhere else in the area. Only for a moment was she distracted before images of Tommy standing over a man holding a gun in his hand crept into her head.

If Tommy wasn't going to tell her why these men were threatening her, then she was going to find out for herself. And she knew just who to go to for answers. Getting up from the bed, she made her way over to the washroom to splash her face with cold water before she grabbed her jacket and purse and headed for the door.


	5. Jenny

**Jenny**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

Straightening her jacket in the window, she peered into the diner before she opened the door. The atmosphere was quiet as it was still very early in the morning. Behind the counter was Ian Reilly, Jenny's father. As she made her way over to the counter, he spotted her and turned around slowly, wiping a small pie plate.

"Hey Mr. Reilly, how are you?" She sat down at one of the stools at the counter.

"I'm okay…" he eyed her warily.

"Hey, I was hoping to be able to talk to Jenny, is she around?" He quickly looked over his shoulder towards the back of the diner.

"You know it's pretty early, I don't think she's up yet."

"Mr. Reilly, it's pretty important, is there any way I could talk to her? Please?" Sarah pleaded as the one patron at the counter looked over at her.

"Listen, I don't think…"

"Dad it's okay," Jenny appeared from the back of the diner to walk up and stand beside her father. She awkwardly from her father to Sarah and back to her father. "Hi Sarah." Sarah could here the anxiety in her voice.

"Hi, Jenny… Look I was really hoping we could talk for a second." Sarah looked to her father for approval then back to Jenny. The tension between them was almost tangible.

"Uh yeah, sure." She took her apron off and walked from behind the counter. "I'll be right back Dad."

"Jenny…" he warned.

"Dad, I'll be right back okay?" She raised an eyebrow to her father before following Sarah out the door to the front of the store. As soon as they were out of her father's sight, Jenny turned to Sarah with her arms cross.

"So what did he do?"

"Sorry?"

"Tommy, what did he do?" She raised an eyebrow. "Look Sarah, we've never really talked before, and he's the only reason you could possibly have to come and find me so what did he do?"

"Jenny, I'm sorry to be bothering you but I really need your help. I know you're one of Tommy's good friends since you were kids, and I know how much he cares about you, which is why I think you're the only one who can help me."

"You could have just as easily gone to Jimmy or Kevin." She looked over her shoulder to see her father peering at them from inside the diner.

"But they wouldn't have given me a straight answer," Sarah was feeling more and more unsure about her decision to talk to Jenny.

"Who says I will?"

"I'm just hoping, look Jenny, I'm just going to be straight with you. I think Tommy's in trouble, big trouble, with the Italians." Jenny's head shot around.

"And?" Her attention was peaked.

"And I don't think it was something recent, I think it was something that happened a while back, before we got together."

"What makes you think Tommy's in trouble?"

"Well…" She hesitated before speaking. "Nicky Cottero and some other of his thugs came in to my dad's restaurant. They knew who I was and I had never talked to them before in my life."

"Your dad owns Sheehan's, everyone knows that."

"They told me that I was wasting my time with Tommy, and that I should watch my back because I was 'one of them now.' I mean what does that even mean?" Sarah looked up at Jenny who seemed to have genuine look of empathy on her face. "I'm just scared, you know? I mean I have no idea of what's going on."

"Have you talked to Tommy about it?"

"Yeah we had a fight about it earlier." Jenny felt a twinge of unexpected happiness at the news. "But he won't say exactly what happened back then, or why he can't tell me anything. But I think it's serious Jenny." She looked up at her. "Jenny I think he…" she still found it hard to say the words.

"What?" She all but whispered.

"I think he killed someone." Jenny's was worried that she had found out. She still cared for Tommy and deep down wanted him to be happy, but she didn't want his romantic history to repeat itself.

"I think it was an Italian." Sarah continued, "It's the only reason I can think of why they would be coming and threatening me. I mean I just don't know what to do." There were tears beginning to form in Sarah's eyes again.

"What did Tommy say, did you tell him?" She looked around the street nervously, feeling as though someone was watching them at that very moment.

"I tried."

"And what did he say about it?"

"He didn't say anything! That's what's got me worried. He wouldn't deny it, he just kept saying that, that's not what happened, and that I'm making things up. Jenny, what am I supposed to think if he's not even going to say that he didn't do it? How could he do it? When did he do it? Did he even do it at all?"

"Sarah, it's okay, it's okay," she tried to calm her down as the tears started to flow. She sniffled and wiped her nose before she responded.

"I'm sorry Jenny. I just, I care about him you know? And I know you guys were close and I couldn't go to his brothers cause they're idiots most of the time, and you two being so close…"

"Sarah," Jenny put a friendly hand on her shoulder offering her a tissue from the package in her back pocket. Jenny thought hard for a moment as to weather or not to tell Sarah everything or just leave her in her comparatively blissful ignorance.

"Jenny, please, I don't want him to get hurt," Sarah wiped her face with the tissue, looking up at Jenny. Jenny looked around the street before wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Come on," she sighed again before taking her inside to the back of the diner and telling her everything that had happened.


	6. Babby

**Babby**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC**_** show The Black Donnelly's in any way. (Unfortunately…)**

Sarah lay alone in her bedroom trying her hardest to think of anything other than what Jenny had told her those few days ago. She had talked to neither Tommy nor Jenny since. Come to think of it, she hadn't talked to anyone in the last three days. She wouldn't have known what to say.

The phone rang beside her bed tearing through the silence of the room and scaring her half to death. With a sigh she rolled over and picked it up.

"Hello?" Her voice cracked a little.

"Hey Babby," her father chided, "What's wrong?" Somehow her father always knew when something was wrong in her life. She had never had to tell him.

"Hey Dad, I'm okay," she lied.

"You haven't called your old man in ages, what's been going on? How's Tommy?" It sounded as if he was at the restaurant in his office.

"I dunno Dad I haven't talked to him in a bit."

"What are you keeping to yourself? What's going on with you Sarah?" The tenderness of his voice could always soothe her, no matter what the problem was.

"No, Dad, it's just. Tommy and I haven't been speaking for the last little bit."

"Did he hurt you? Cause if he did..." He half joked.

"No Daddy, no, Tommy would never hurt me like that, don't worry. It's just that we had a fight and..."

"Oh I see, you're first big fight. I remember when your mother and I had our first big fight Babby, I thought she would never talk to me again," he chuckled. "What did he do now?"

"I don't really want to talk about it Dad. I actually have a lot of homework to do." She looked over at the stack of books on her drafting table. She hadn't gone to school in the last three days, telling her professors she was sick.

"Well why don't you come the restaurant? I can fix you up a nice big plate to eat."

"It's okay Poppa, really, I'll be fine. We'll be okay."

"Are you sure you don't want me to pop him one in the face for you? Nobody makes my Babby upset."

"No, no, Dad it's okay," she laughed, "there's no need. I'm sure we'll sort everything out, but thanks anyway."

"Okay, why don't you take some more time off from work? At least until you make amends with Tommy. How does that sound?"

"Dad, I don't want..."

"Yes, but you need it Babby, trust me. Just make sure to call me when everything's made better okay?"

"Okay Poppa, thanks," she half smiled.

"Love you sweetheart," he blew a kiss through the phone before hanging up. He always knew how to make her feel better, and she did feel a bit better.

That is until her cell phone rang to the tune of "Mary Mac" by Great Big Sea, which was the song she had programmed for Tommy, anytime he called. She was almost sick of the song as this was probably the fifth time he had called just that day. She just sat and watched it buzz and sing for a moment before flipping it open and putting it to her ear.

"Sarah? Are you there?" He asked before she even had to chance to say 'hello.' "Sarah?"

"Yes Tommy, I'm here," she sighed into the phone as she rolled back onto her back.

"Hey, how are you doing?" He asked softly.

"Tommy..."

"Are you at home right now?"

She thought for a moment before answering, not sure if she really wanted him to know. "Yeah, I'm in my room."

"Well, uh, can I come and talk to you? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Tommy, I..."

"Please Sarah, I need you to hear me out." He paused, "I miss you."

Sarah fought with herself as to what she should do. "Tommy, I don't know if I can deal with all of this you know? I mean, this isn't your everyday thing. Can you understand where I'm coming from here?" She lay on her back covering her eyes with her free hand.

"Sarah can I please come in and talk to you?"

She uncovered her face and opened her eyes, realizing what he had just said. "Where are you right now?"

"Outside." He said sheepishly.

"Outside where?" She sat up in the bed.

"Your apartment." Her head whipped around to the door. Without another word she flipped the phone shut.

She walked slowly up to the door, hesitant to have to talk to him again about the whole mess. She wasn't even really sure about how she really felt about it all.

"Sarah?" he called from the other side of the door. "Please open the door."

Slowly she opened to see Tommy getting up off the floor, his face covered in scruff and his hair disheveled, he looked like he hadn't slept in a while.

"How long have you been out here?"

"A few days," he bowed his head looking almost embarrassed. She was shocked until she realized that she hadn't been out of her apartment in about that time. Which was probably why she hadn't noticed he was out there. "Can I..."

"Come in." She left the doorway and walked back over to her bed to sit down with her back against the headrest, hugging her legs into her chest. Tommy closed the door behind him and pulled the chair from the drafting table over beside the bed. When he sat down, he immediately began playing with a piece of hair at the back of his head. She could see the torment on his face as he occasionally looked up at her then back down at the floor.

"Sarah..."

"I know," she said calmly, deciding then and there that she was going to be there for him instead of run from him.

His head shot up. "What?"

"I know, I know what happened, what you did." She stretched her legs back out on the bed.

"What? How? Did one of my brothers? I told Sean..."

"I went to see Jenny."

"Jenny!" Thoughts began racing through his head about all the things they could have talked about.

"Yeah, Jenny. I thought she would be the best one to go to, to find out what's going on, seeing as how you weren't willing to tell me why those thugs came into my father's restaurant and threatened me."

"Sarah, you shouldn't have," he shook his head, running his hands nervously through his hair.

"I shouldn't have? I shouldn't have what Tommy? Found out why people who I don't even know are threatening my life? Found out why they want me to stay away from you when _you _won't even tell me?"

Tommy could see that she was fighting tears, which made him feel even worse. He really had come to love her and was terrified of losing her. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her face of the single tear that had escaped.

"Tommy, I didn't let you back in here so I could fight about this. We don't have to fight about this anymore. I know what happened and I can understand why you did it. I just need to know what you're going to do about it now?"

He took a deep breath before he answered. Looking up at her, all he wanted to do was tell her something that would make her feel better.

"I don't know Sarah." He shook his head at her. "I really don't know." She could see the amount of worry and the hint of fear that hid behind it.


	7. Breathe

**Breathe**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_NBC_** show **_The Black Donnellys_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

She watched him for a moment as he struggled with his own thoughts. She could only imagine. "Come here," she pat the bed beside her. Sighing, he kicked off his shoes as he got up from the chair and crawled his way across the bed to lay his head down on her chest. He had never felt so lost and she had never felt so scared.

"Tommy," she shook her head as she gently stroked the curls in his hair. He looked up at her. She said nothing else but leaned down and kissed him. He welcomed it openly, having missed the feeling of her skin on his. He relished in the feeling of her soft, wet lips caressing his as the scent of lilacs whispered through his head.

"I love you too Tommy Donnelly," she whispered. He stopped immediately. He sat up to look her, his intense eyes seeming to sear straight through to her soul. She had never felt more attracted to him then in that moment.

"Sarah," he took her lightly freckled face in his hand, "I promise, that I will take care of you, no matter what it takes."

And she knew it was true. He would do anything shy of taking one of his family member's lives to protect her. Closing her eyes, she kissed him again, this time with more conviction and fervour.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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If you wish to receive a FULL COPY, please e-mail me and I will send you the full chapter!

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"My dad was threatening to beat you up." She smiled when he laughed, rolling over to her side. Puling the sheets up to cover them, she rested her head on his bare chest and she had done so many times before.

"Did you tell him?"

"Of course not, I haven't told anyone." She traced the lines of his chest. "But Tommy, we have to do something, I don't want my father to find out. If he does, he might just actually kill you."

Even though she laughed about it, he knew the seriousness oft what she was saying. Bryan Sheehan loved and valued his daughter more than his own life, and he knew that he would do anything for her. Ever since her mother passed away four years ago, Sarah has been his only reason for living. The man loved his little girl eternally.

"I'm going to take care of everything Sarah, but for now just be careful, keep going to class and keep going to work like you don't know anything, okay?"

"What if they come back to the restaurant? They know I work there now," she wrapped her arm around him tightly, missing the feel of his taught muscles on her skin.

"Keep your cell phone charged an on you at all times, and you call me if you ever need." Though she didn't love the idea, she couldn't think of anything better herself.

"Tommy," she paused. He rubber her bare back as she snuggled in closer to him. "I'm scared." She closed her eyes and held him even tighter, afraid of too many things at once. She waited for him to respond but he didn't say anything. He just kisesed the top of her head lightly and continued to rub her back, looking out the window at the sun setting over Hell's Kitchen.


	8. Warning

**Warning**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Dad!" Sarah jumped about three feet in the air when her father crept up behind her in the kitchen of the restaurant. He laughed heartily as she continued to fix herself a sandwich. "Don't do that. I hate it when you do that."

"So, you never told me if everything was squared with Tommy or not. What happened?" He took one of the cucumbers from her plate and put it in his mouth, leaning his back against the wooden counter.

Sarah smiled inwardly, remembering what had happened the day before. "Every thing's fine Dad thanks."

"Are you sure?" He arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Sarah looked up at her father who stared back suspiciously.

"Yes _Da_, every thing's great." She put on her best Irish accent, mocking him. He only had a whisper of an accent but here in Hell's Kitchen, New York, everyone knew where he had been born.

"Sarah, I know you're probably not going to like what I'm about to say but..."

"What?" She snapped instinctively. She knew all too well that when he began a statement with the words "you're probably not going t like this" she usually didn't. At all.

"Babby, it's just that I've been hearing some things from some folks, and I just want to make sure that _every thing's _okay with Tommy."

"You heard _some things_, from _some folks_? What is that even supposed to mean Dad? Really?" She turned to face him, tapping the butter knife on the counter.

"Sarah, I just mean..."

"Who are _some folks _anyway?" she turned an made her walked out the door to the seating area.

"Sarah, would you please just..." He opened the door and paused, seeing Sarah hurriedly coming back towards him.

"Come on Dad," she pushed him back into the kitchen, but not before he caught a glimpse of Alo and one of his goons sitting at one of the tables and Dokey Farrell and his man at the door, talking to the greeter.

"That is _exactly_ the reason Sarah!" Her father all but yelled. Her heart pounded in her chest as she put the plate back down on the counter. "What I heard is true! That boy is one of those gangsters, and I don't want you anywhere near him!"

"Tommy is not a gangster Dad," she tried to play it cool as she went to get her purse from the office. Her hand shook as fished her cell phone out from all of the clutter in the big hand bag.

"I know what he is Sarah. I have had a feeling about that boy since the first time I met him. I haven't had the heart to say anything about it because you seemed so happy Babby, but this is just too much!" He pointed towards the door. "I don't want that kind of trouble in my restaurant Sarah!" He shook his head angrily at her while she frantically dialled Tommy's number. All she got was a busy signal.

"Damn it Tommy," she whispered.

"Yes Sarah, call him to get rid of those murderers out here!" He yelled at her, causing most of the kitchen staff to turn and look towards the office.

"Dad, it's not what you think," she felt a sense of deja vu, remembering Tommy saying the same thing to her, "I have to go." She hurriedly packed up her things into her purse and threw it over her shoulder.

"Sarah, I'm not through talking with you yet!" He yelled as she made her way to the back door, with her phone to her ear.

"Stay in the kitchen until they leave okay? I love you too Dad!" she waved absently behind her before stepping through the door and out of sight.

"Tommy pick up the phone!" she yelled at his answering machine and hung up. Hailing a cab, she rummaged through her purse for money. When it arrived and she finally got in, she gave him directions for the Donnelly's apartment. He was usually there with his mother at this time and she hoped that afternoon wasn't any different.

Quickly, she paid the driver and ran up the few flights of stairs to Tommy's apartment. She composed herself before knocking on the door.

"Sarah?" Tommy's mother opened the door with a look of pure confusion on her face. "Are you all right?" She opened the door further, seeing how frazzled and out of breath Sarah was.

"Mrs. Donnelly," she barely got out before her lip quivered uncontrollably and her eyes began to water.

"Sarah, honey, are you okay?" She steppd out into the hallway.

"Hey, who is it Ma?" Kevin grabbed the door just as she was about to close it behind her. "Sarah," he stood in the doorway just as shocked to see her. She rarely ever came to their house unless invited by their mother.

"Kevin, go back inside," his mother waved him off.

"Are you okay?" He closed the door behind him and stood beside his mother with his arms crossed in front of him.

"Yeah, no I'm fine," she lied wiping her face, "I was just looking for Tommy. I thought he might be here with you like he usually is."

"Tommy hasn't come home yet, I thought he was with you?" Kevin shook his head.

"No," Sarah became very worried. Her thoughts turned back to father at the restaurant with the Italians and Dokey there.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I haven't seem him. Did you want to come in? Kevin, go inside and get Sarah something to drink."

"No, no, thanks Mrs. Donnelly, but I'm okay. I better get going, I don't want to keep you at all. Thank you."

"What else am I doing?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"I thought you were helping me..."

"Hush up Kevin and get Sarah something to drink." She pushed him back behind her.

"All right!" He made a face and rubbed his arm before opening the door.

"No, Kevin, Mrs. Donnelly, I have to be off. I just had some time off from the restaurant and I thought I'd stop by. It was good seeing you again. You'll have to stop by for lunch or dinner sometime, try our new menu on the house." Sarah forced a smiled.

"Ill be there!" Kevin piped up just before his other slapped him on the arm again.

"That sounds lovely Sarah thank you. Give my regards to your father." She smiled back.

"I will, see you later," she turned and left down the stairs, out of sight.

"There's something about that girl," Mrs. Donnelly uttered under her breath before pushing Kevin back into the apartment.


	9. Decisions

**Decisions**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Searching through her purse, she looked for whatever change she could to get back home. Coming up with less than a dollar and no close bank machines, she was left with the only option of walking home from the Donnelly's apartment. As she walked in the afternoon sun, she tried to call Tommy again. Fortunately, he picked up.

"Hello?" He said frustrated into the phone.

"Tommy, where have you been? I've been trying to call you for the past hour." She walked hurriedly by herself, hugging her purse to her body.

"Sorry, I've been out running errands. Is everything okay?"

"No, everything is not okay. Dokey and the Italians are at my restaurant planning God knows what, my Dad saw them and thinks _you_ have something to do with it, your Mom thinks I'm insane and now I'm stuck walking home all alone. So no, everything is _not_ okay Tommy," she flipped on him.

"Woah, woah, woah... No just gimme a sec." He seemed to be talking to someone else there with him. " Sorry, what was that?"

"You're not even listening," she shook her head frustrated. "Tommy, they're a the restaurant! My father saw them, Dokey, Alo, Nicky, all of them meeting there together. My father thinks you have something to do with it."

"Your father? Did you tell him anything? Does he know?" He whispered. She then heard him cover the phone and say something to someone who was there with him.

"Tommy, would you listen to me for a second?" She heard a woman's voice on the other end.

"Tommy, where are you?" Sarah asked suspiciously.

"I'm just finishing up here, did you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"Tommy!" the voice next to him yelled again.

"Where are you Tommy?!" Sarah asked again.

"I'm just leaving Jenny's," he answered finally.

"Jenny's?! Jenny Reilly?"

"Yeah, look, I'm sorry but I really don't have time to argue right now, is everything okay with you?"

"No! They're at the restaurant! My Dad's flipping out and I have no idea what to tell him."

"Tell him to stay in the back 'till they leave. Hopefully they're just meeting or something." He brushed her off.

"Hopefully? Tommy, Dokey Farrell and the Italians are meeting together, in _my_ restaurant!"

"Are you okay _right now_?"

"Yes, but Tommy..."

"Okay, I'll be at the Firecracker soon. Just sit tight okay?"

"Ugh, Tommy!" she heard Jenny growl from the other end.

"I thought you were running errands? Why are you with Jenny?" She shook her head angrily as she walked, making sure to look behind her every now and then.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be done here soon, or do you want me to come to the restaurant now?"

"My father thinks that you have something to do with all of this. He thinks you're a freaking gangster!"

"Look is your father okay right now?"

"I'm heading back to the restaurant now. I was looking for you at home but _obviously_ you have other more important business to attend to."

"Listen, go check on your Dad, see if he's calmed down, and I'll meet you at the Firecracker tonight. Call me when you're heading over there."

"Tommy, what are you doing? Why are you with Jenny?" She panted a bit as she sprinted across the street, avoiding a car.

"I"ll talk to you later okay? I have to go. Bye." He hung up the phone in her ear. Shocked an even more scared, she quickened her pace down the street, even through it was still light outside. Why was he acting so short with her? What was he doing with Jenny why he couldn't take time to talk to her? Questions flooded her head all the way to the restaurant.

Going in the back way, she found her father in his office leaning over some papers on his desk. He merely glanced up at at her and looked back down at his papers.

"Hey Poppa," she stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame.

"Sarah." He kept his attention on his work.

"Look Dad, I'm sorry I ran out on you like that. I know what those guys are like and I got scared. But I didn't want to admit it. I should have stayed here and talked with you, I know, but you get so angry sometimes, you know, and I just don't know how to talk to you when you're like that."

Bryan put down his pen and ran an exhausted hand through his greying hair. "Sarah" he looked up at her from the desk, "You know I only want what's best for you. And, to be perfectly honest, I don't think that Tommy Donnelly is good for you Babby."

"Dad.."

"Now wait a minute, hear your old man out." He shook his head and looked up at her again. "Babby, every since your mother left this world I have only have one mission in life, and that's protecting our little girl. I promised your mother that I would never let anyone or anything hurt her baby girl." His voice cracked a bit when he spoke, causing Sarah to choke up herself.

"Poppa, I..."

"But that looks like a promise that I'm going to have to break." He looked up at her with his eyes glassy. "Sarah, you're a grown woman now, and you have every right to make your own decisions."

"Thank you Poppa," Sarah sighed.

"But that doesn't mean that I have to support the decisions you make when I think they're bad ones. Now I know how you feel about that Donnelly boy and though I might not agree with it Babby, it's your decision to make."

"Poppa he's..."

"Not allowed back in my restaurant again. Ever. And that _is_ my decision to make." Sarah knew that when he clasped his hand on the desk in front of him, that he would not be swayed from his decision. "Sarah, I don't want him or any of his brothers in here again, you hear me?"

She didn't like the decision but she knew how hard it was for him to say what he had just said, how hard it was for him to finally let her go. She smiled and walked over to him, kissing him on the cheek and hugging him gently. "I love you Poppa. Thank you." He avoided looking her in the eye for fear that he might show how emotional he was at that moment. She kissed him again and brushed a fluff caught in the grey stubble of his cheek.

"Are you working today?" He picked up his pen again and went back to his work.

" No, Holly and Derek are in tonight, I'll be in in the morning after her."

"When do you have class?"

"Not for another two days Dad," she chuckled, stealing some of the chocolate covered peanuts from a jar on one of the filing cabinets.

"All right then. I'll see you then. We'll work that one together, how's about that?" He smiled up at her.

"Sounds good Dad, see you later." She raced over and kissed him one last time. "Love you!" She called back as she left the office, out of sight.


	10. Emotions

**Emotions**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Tommy opened the door of the cab almost before it had fully come to a stop. He overpaid the driver and dashed into the Firecracker where he found Sarah sitting at the bar and Joey Ice-cream behind it, both smiling and chatting over a beer. Even though they were laughing, he was almost an hour late in meeting her and knew how upset she would be.

When she heard the door of the pub open, she immediately stopped laughing and put her pint down, but didn't turn to face him.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry," he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She gave him no response at all but took another sip of her pint.

"Tommy, I didn't even notice you come in, how you doing?" Joey looked up and smiled.

Tommy looked around at the empty pub, then back at him grinning behind the bar. "Joey, out."

"That's so funny 'cause we were just talking about you." He continued on, not even paying attention to Tommy.

"Hey Joey," Tommy continued to look around.

"Yeah Tommy?"

"Are you the only one in here?" He put his hand to his chin.

"Yeah, and good thing too or Sarah wouldn't have been able to get in."

"Oh yeah? And were any of my brothers here before Sarah got here?"

"No..." he answered hesitantly.

"Then tell me how the hell it is that you got in here all by yourself?" Tommy cocked an eyebrow at Joey who looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

"Uh, you know what? I think I was supposed to be somewhere, I better go before I'm late." Joey downed his drink faster than a cactus in the desert and took off from the bar.

"Sarah," he pulled out the stool next to her and sat down.

"What are you doing Tommy?" She still didn't look up at him, but focused on the head of her beer.

"What?"

"Tommy, my family is at stake here, my father's life. I can't risk him getting hurt."

"Sarah, I'm not _trying _to get anyone hurt. I'm actually trying to protect everyone here, but I'm only one person you know?" he shook his head exasperated with the whole situation he and his brothers had put everyone else close to him in.

"Tommy," she paused for a moment before looking him square in the eyes. "Look Tommy, it took a long time for me to trust you, you know that."

"But Sarah," he almost knew where this was going before she even continued.

"Just wait a second and hear me out this time okay?"

"All right, I'm sorry."

"I know you are Tommy, and I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen. It was the decision of your idiotic brother that created this whole mess and you were just trying to protect your family. I can understand that," she sighed.

"Thank you," Tommy sighed, relieved.

"Actually, I think I understand that better than ever now," she shook her head.

"What do you mean?" he cocked his head at her answer.

"I mean Tommy, that I understand that family comes before everything, and that you'd do anything to keep them safe." She drew lines up and down her cold pint glass connecting the beads of condensation until they pooled around the bottom. "And if protecting family means making huge decisions and sacrifices then that's just how it has to be." If it weren't for the slight quiver in her bottom lip, he would have had no idea of the turmoil her mind and heart were in at that moment.

"Sarah, what are you trying to say here?" His heart thumped in his chest.

"What I'm trying to say Tommy," she gripped the bottom of the glass firmly with both hands, looking at it instead of him beside her. "What I'm trying to say is that, to protect my father, I have to stay away from you."

"Sarah, come on, we've been through this already. We can do this, we can work it out. This just needs some time to blow over."

"Blow over? Some time? Tommy, this has been going on for more than half a year, murdering members of the mob isn't exactly something that just _blows over_, even if your intentions were good." She could feel his anger and frustration emanating from him like heat from the midday sun.

"Sarah, don't do this all right? Please don't do this again." He threw his hands up. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but this is not the type of thing you bring up on a first date."

Frustrated and angry herself, she got up from her seat and walked out onto the floor. "Tommy, I'm only doing what you did, making a tough decision for the better of my family."

"Sarah, this isn't the same thing! They were going to kill Jimmy if I hadn't stopped them first! Do you actually think that I had a choice here? They almost beat Seany to death! How long till they went after Kevin or my mother huh?!" He stood up and yelled.

"How long till they come after me or my father Tommy! How long before I go out one night and don't come back, huh? Is that what you want? Is it?!" She was near tears with emotion as she stood across the room from him. She loved him but couldn't bare if anything happened to her father, who himself had sacrificed so much for her to be able to enjoy all the things in life.

"Sarah," he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes. She shook as he held her, crying softly into his shoulder. "Sarah," he put his chin on her head. "Please don't do this right now, I need you. You're the only good thing I have right now. I can't lose you." He held on to her so tightly that it made it hard for her to breathe.

"Tommy!" She pushed herself away from him sobbing. "Don't make this harder than it already is, please! I'm all he has."

"_You're_ all I have Sarah."

"Tommy, you have your mother, Seany, Kevin, Jimmy..."

"Sarah, you're the only one I can feel close to."

"Well..." she wiped her face and crossed her arms, stiffening up. "If they don't do it for you, you can always go to Jenny." She stared him straight in the eye.

"Is that what this is all about, Jenny?" Tommy ran his hands through his hair. Again he thought of losing it all scurried through his mind. "Sarah, there's nothing there, there's nothing happening between us. It's just you I swear," he put his right hand up.

"You're so quick to swear but you won't tell me what you're doing over at her apartment." Sarah walked back over to the bar to pour herself a shot of whisky.

"We weren't doing anything! Dokey had just been at the diner giving her a hard time about me and I was tying to clear things up. That's all! She's pissed because of me. I was trying to figure out what was going on, and why they were visiting her."

"Tommy, you don't have to treat me with kid gloves you know, I know what happened between the two of you. I've always known. I know you loved her, and you still do." She sat down on the bar stool, exasperated and shaking from the overwhelming emotions she was feeling at that very moment. Taking another shot and wiping her face of the tears, she let her own words sink in. She wasn't even thinking when she had said them, they just came out without even a second thought.

"Sarah," he sat down next to her at the bar, "I love you, just you." He brushed her fiery hair out of her face and behind her ear as she stared down at the counter top. "Jenny was the past, and that's where she's staying. I mean, Jenny and I have known each other a long time but we're just friends, if that even."

"Tommy," she relished in the feel of his palm against her cheek, of his fingers in her hair. Taking her head his hands, he kissed her with everything he had in him, pulling her off of the stool and closer to him.

"Tommy!" Sarah again pushed herself away from him. "I can't!" She wiped her face of the remaining tears that had managed to squeeze their way out. "I can't do this anymore." Sarah looked up at him with eyes so sad it tore him apart. "I'm sorry," she shrugged shaking her head, and exhaled slowly.

"Sarah..." he whimpered, tears welling in his eyes as she got back up from her chair. She said nothing but walked away slowly heading for the door. She didn't turn around once as she left the Firecracker, the door slowly closing behind her.


	11. Taken

**Taken**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

As soon as she was out the door and out of sight he picked up the stool he had been sitting on and threw it across the room, hitting the pool table and knocking over the cues in the rack. He kicked over the one she had been sitting on sending it flying towards the jukebox, which quietly played Damien Rice's "I Remember" in the corner fuelling his anger.

Just as he was about to throw the rum bottle at the front door, it opened and Sarah backed herself back into the bar.

"Sarah?" He brought the bottle back down to his side, looking completely confused. "What are you..." Just as she turned around to face him Nicky Cottero and five other men entered the bar after her.

Gripping the bottle tighter, he looked over at Sarah who stood by the jukebox then back at the men holding guns and bats at the door. "What are you doing here Nicky?"

Sarah played with the zipper on her bag as her heart pounded inside her chest. She stood just inside the door, breathing heavily, looking back and forth between the Italians and Tommy.

"Sarah, come here," he cocked his head towards her. When she quietly started to make her way over to him by the bar one of Nicky's men put a bat in her way.

"No, no, I think she's good right where she is." He smiled and winked. It was the same man Nicky was with at her restaurant.

"Tommy?" her hands shook while she continued to play with the zipper.

"It's okay Sarah," he looked over at her, trembling beside the big Italian man who's name escaped him.

"Nicky, can we talk? Downstairs maybe? Sarah doesn't need to know about any of this."

"Is that right?" Nicky took the bottle from Tommy, walked behind the bar and poured himself a shot. "So you don't think she deserves to know that your imbecilic brother killed Sal's nephew Louis Downtown, my business associate." He held up another glass to Sarah then downed it. She looked back towards Tommy, her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"You don't think she deserves to know that _you_ then went and killed Sal _and_ Huey Farrell right after that?" He winked at Sarah before putting the glass back down on the counter top. Walking back around the bar, he made his way over to Sarah, backing her right up against the jukebox, which skipped from her hitting it so hard.

"Hey!" Tommy started for him but was stopped by on of the men with guns. Nicky looked her up and down, standing so close to her she could feel the heat of his breath against her cheek.

"Nicky!" Tommy warned again, but was answered by the butt end of the man's gun across his face.

Scared more than she had ever been, a tear slowly made it's way down her flushed cheek. She tried to reach for him but Nicky pressed her back up against the jukebox.

"It's okay Sarah," Tommy put a hand to his face checking for blood.

"Didn't I tell you he was no good?" Nicky whispered in her ear, twirling a lock of her hair in his finger.

"Nicky! Leave her alone or..."

"Or you'll what Donnelly?" The man next to him released the safety of the gun he was pointing at him.

"Come on," Nicky moved away from Sarah and looked back to Tommy. "You're taking a little ride. I have a lesson or two to teach you about business and family," he laughed in his face. Tommy glared back at him with so much animosity; Sarah could feel it across the room.

"Let's go." He cocked his head towards the door, the man with the gun pushing Tommy towards the door.

"Nicky, you do whatever you want with me but you don't touch Sarah? She stays here all right? Promise me." Tommy stood in place.

"Do you really think you're in any position to be asking for anything right now?" Nicky chuckled. "Get him out of here." He turned back to Sarah. Two of the men stood behind Tommy and pushed him towards the door.

"Tommy?" Sarah's voice cracked with fear.

"It's okay Sarah," he walked by her calmly, "Every thing's going to be okay." He reassured her as he walked past her to the door.

"Tommy, I'm sorry," tears ran down her face.

"I love you Sarah, you know that right?" She nodded back at him as he stared at her fervidly, taking in every freckle on her face and strand of hair on her head. He imagined it might the last time he saw her, but for the last while he had been convincing himself that he was ready for anything they would throw at him. Anything.

"Tommy, I love you!" She tried to go to him but Nicky stopped her. "Tommy!" She reached for him but Nicky grabbed her hand and drew her towards him. She yelled and Tommy tried to fight against the men who were now holding him back.

"Sarah! Don't you touch her Nicky!" He fought as hard as he could against the Italians.

"Get him outta here, I'm going to spend a little quality time with sweetness over here." Nicky took her hand and ran it over his cheek, making her cringe.

"Tommy," she whimpered, watching the now three large Italian men, take him kicking and yelling for her out the door.

When they were finally out of the bar, the two other men made their way closer to Nicky, with wicked grins plastered on their faces.

"You promised," she squeaked, terrified of what they might do to her.

"Weren't you listening? I did no such thing," he chuckled at her, letting her go. She rubbed her wrists where he had been holding her.

"What are you going to do to him"? She sniffled, straightening up.

"Well sweetheart, that all depends," he walked over to the bar. Reaching behind it, he searched around for a bit, looking for something just under the counter.

"On what?"

"Hmm?" He continued searching.

"What does it depend on?" She pulled her arm into her chest, feeling her heart still banging against her chest.

"Well," he turned around with a sledgehammer in his hand, "that all depends on you." When she saw the sledgehammer she literally felt her heart stop in her chest. She tried to bolt for the door, but not before the two other men caught her. "I knew they kept this back there, just in case."

"What do you want with me?" She yelled.

"Well Sarah, I need you to help me teach your boyfriend Tommy a lesson." He tapped his palm with the head of the sledgehammer. She backed herself up against the jukebox again as he slinked closer to her, passing the hammer off to the man to her left. Pressing himself up against her, she turned her face away as he rubbed his nose against her cheek, inhaling deeply.

"Ugh, you smell good enough to eat," he nuzzled her neck. "What is that," he sniffed again. "Lilacs? Humph, I'm gonna have fun with you," he smiled crookedly. "Mmmm..." He licked her neck slowly and she squirmed in his arms. When he tried to kiss her, she kneed him hard. Doubling over, he grabbed himself, coughing. Sarah looked down at him angrily with her arms crossed in a façade of courage and stability.

"Oooohh... Your a feisty broad aren't you?" he stood up slowly. "Must be that Irish temper," he chuckled and slapped her hard across the face. She yelped and held her face, rubbing it with her fingertips. "Apparently Italians have tempers too." He glared at her.

"Or maybe we just don't like getting a knee t the groin eh Nicky?" the man on her right chuckled.

"Shut up would you? Take her to the spot, I'll meet you out there in a bit," he motioned towards the door. She screamed and fought as they dragged her towards the front door.

"Hey," one of them pulled out his gun and held it to her head, "Shut up or I'll give you something to scream about." She immediately stopped fighting him and stood up straight, wiping her face of the tears. While Nicky watched, she quietly straightened herself up as they pushed her out the door and into their car.


	12. Beaten

**Beaten**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Tommy, exhausted, staggered up the stairs and literally fell into his apartment door, slumping into a pile of a bruised and bloody mess.

"What the..." he heard from the other side before Kevin opened the door, causing Tommy to fall onto his back on the floor. "Tommy!" He bent down to pick his brother up off the ground and help him inside.

"Where's Ma?" He panted, trying his hardest to open his one swollen eye and ignore the throbbing pain in his left side from being kicked until he vomited. It seemed like they kicked the crap out of him all afternoon and all night, straight until the next day.

"Oh my God. Tommy what the hell did they do to you?" Kevin straightened him up and helped him to his room to lie in his bed.

"Kevin, Kevin..." He called absently for his brother who stood beside the bed with his hands in his hair. He had never seen anyone beaten so badly. His face was cut and bruised in three places, his lip was bleeding and his left eye swollen shut.

"Here, let me get you some water," Kevin ran off to the kitchen.

"Kevin!" Sean called, coming through the front door.

"Sean!" Kevin tried to cut him off before he reached the open door of the bedroom. "Sean, wait!" But it was too late; he had already seen Tommy lying painfully on the bed.

"Oh my Jesus," was all he could get out at the sight of his big brother. It brought back floods of memories of six months ago when the same thing had happened to him. "Who the hell did this to him? It was those bastard Italians wasn't it?" Sean yelled. He kneeled down beside his brother who had passed out from pain and exhaustion.

"He's out," Kevin put the glass down on the night table beside the bed. "Sean, you take his clothes off him, I'm gonna get the first aid kit." Kevin ran to the washroom to look fr the kit.

"His clothes are sticking to him!" Sean yelled from the bedroom.

"Then don't touch them! We'll have to cut them off." He came back into he room with the kit in one hand and he scissors in the other.

"Do you even know what your doing?" Sean looked less than sure at his brother who knelt down beside him.

"Yeah, I learned a little in school."

"Yeah, the school nurse patching _you_ up every week doesn't exactly qualify you as being First Aid trained, does it?"

"Shut up Seany, and take his pants off." Kevin soaked some gauze in alcohol and wiped the cuts on Tommy's face. Though it must have stung immensely, he didn't flinch at all.

"We can't let Ma see him like this." Sean shook his head as he removed the torn jeans from his brother.

"Ma's not coming home for a while, she out getting her hair done. She won't be back for at least a few." Kevin cut the shirt away from Tommy's side, being careful not to pull the fabric away too hard or too fast.

"He's not just going to magically just heal himself in a few hours Kevin, we have to get him out of here." Sean stopped patting his brother's knee with gauze. We need to find somewhere to take him." He grabbed one of the pairs of jeans from the drawer and put them on him.

"And where do you suggest we do that? Huh?"

"We could take him back to the Firecracker. In the basement, there's a cot where Joey had been staying." Sean piped up.

"Why the hell was Joey staying at the Firecracker?"

"I dun no, it's Joey. Why does he do anything?"

"Sean, I'm guessing the Italians did this to him, but what I've been trying to figure out is why they didn't kill him? I mean why would they just beat him up and bring him home you know?" Kevin put surgical tape on Tommy's split eyebrow. Again Sean grabbed a shirt from the closet and carefully dressed his brother.

"You don't think I thought of that already?" He quickly packed up the first aid kit and closed the little case it was in. "Tommy, Tommy!" He shook Tommy who mumbled a few incomprehensible words then drifted back off.

"Come on Seany, help me get him to your car." They both took and arm and slung it over their shoulders lifting Tommy off the bed. "Check outside to see if anyone's coming." Kevin pointed quickly down the hallway. Putting the rest of Tommy's weight on Kevin, Sean dashed down the hallway and down the stairs, taking then two by two on the way back up.

"Nope, no one," he nodded taking Tommy back on his shoulder. As quickly as they could and as carefully as they could, they loaded Tommy into Sean's car and sped off towards the Firecracker.


	13. Silence

**Silence**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Tommy awoke to the sound of dead silence around him and a throbbing pain in his left side. He moaned as even the dim light of the cellar burned his eyes. Pulling the sheet from on top of him he slowly and painfully rose to his feet. It took all he had in him to make his way up the stairs to the bar where he found Kevin and Sean sitting at the bar sharing a bottle of whisky.

Just as he was about to walk over and join them, the door of the bar swung open and a very angry Bryan Sheehan burst through, headed straight for his brothers. It was just them that he realized that Sarah was no where around.

"Oh my God," he said under his breath as Bryan stormed over to Kevin and Sean.

"Where is she you little shite!" He picked Kevin up by his collar.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kevin put his hand up in surrender.

"She hasn't called, she's not at home and she was supposed to work this morning." He threw him against the bar counter so hard it cracked his back.

"I don't know Mr. Sheehan, I swear!" Just as Kevin straightened up and was about to rub his back, he grabbed him again.

"Where is that idiot brother of yours?"

"Jimmy?" Kevin shot back sarcastically.

"This is not a game you little punk!" Bryan threw him back into the bar. "I heard about what happened to your brother, you of all people should know how fast word travels. And if I find out that even a hair was touched on my Babby's head, you're brother is a dead man, you hear me?" He pointed at the brother of them sinking his point.

"Yeah, yeah, for sure Mr. Sheehan, we'll let you know when we see him," Sean nodded nervously.

Bryan just shook his head at them and walked away, kicking the door open when he left. Kevin got up from the stool and checked to make sure he was down the street and out of sight before relaxing any at all.

"Where is she?" Tommy hobbled over to the bar to meet his brothers.

"Tommy!" Sean looked shocked to see him up considering how he had been just a few hours ago.

"Where is she Seany?! Kevin?" the more upset he got the more pain he looked like he was in.

"We don't know Tommy! I swear I haven't seen her since she came to the house," Kevin put his hands up in defense.

"Seany?" He sat down at the bar joining his brothers. It hurt him to stand for too long.

"Nothing, I haven't seen her."

Tommy shook his head worriedly.

"Tommy, what did they do to you?" Kevin asked warily.

"What didn't they do Kevin?" Tommy shot back angrily.

"Mr. Sheehan looked pretty mad Tommy," Kevin took another sip of the beer in front of him.

"Where the hell could she be?" He grabbed his brother's drink and downed it. Almost as he said it there was a screech outside and a heavy thump on the door. As Kevin slowly got up to check the door, the sound of screeching tires sped away from the bar.

Looking outside the window he almost didn't see the bare leg and shoulder and the foot of the door.

"What the..." He carefully opened the door to reveal Sarah's bruised and bloody body on the sidewalk for anyone walking by to see.

"Tommy!" Kevin yelled when he fully opened the door. "Oh my God, Tommy!"

Forgetting about all the pain in his body, he ran as fast as he could to the door. His breath caught short when he saw Sarah unconscious on the ground. All the things he was trying to protect her from, had happened to her. It was right there in front of him.

"Sarah?" he stood stunned for moment, almost not allowing himself to believe what he was seeing. "Sarah!" he knelt down to look her over, seeing clearly every intentional cut and bruise on her face and bare shoulders. Her shirt and pants were ripped completely. "Sarah! Sarah, wake up!" He shook her gently not knowing what else to do. "Please!" he was in total agony. Leaning over he pressed his ear to her chest, hearing the faint sound of her heart beating.

"Kevin, call an ambulance!" His eyes were full of tears when he saw that they had tied her hands with plastic bindings which had created deeps wounds in her flesh. He imagined how she must have fought against them. "Oh God, Sarah..." he didn't know what to do with himself but lay her across his lap, rocking back and forth while her head bobbed loosely on his thigh.

Sean stood over him, almost in tears himself at the sight of her in his arms, she looked five times worse than Tommy had when he arrived at their door.

"Sarah, please, please just wake up for me," he whispered in her hear.

"Come on Tommy, lets get her inside," Sean knelt down to help pick her up and bring her inside the bar.

"Ambulance is on its way!" Kevin cleared the pool table as they carried her over and rested her down in the middle. Looking at their brother, Kevin and Sean had never seen him this emotional in all of their lives. He was sad and angry and unsure all at the same time. He just kept saying her name and brushing her face of the bits of dirt and grit in her skin. There were lines down her face in the dirt where her tears had washed it away.

Taking two deep breaths, he shook his head, getting himself together. Almost all of the sadness had been replaced by unyielding rage as he looked down at her thighs which were mostly purple with bruises.

"Get me a knife," he sniffled and wiped his face with his sleeve. He didn't take his hand from her or his eyes off of her peaceful face. When Sean returned with the knife he took it and carefully cut her hands apart. When he saw blood start to trickle out from the wounds, he cut a part of his shirt off to wrap around them. In the distance they could hear the ambulance sirens wailing outside the bar.

"What are we going to do?" Kevin asked quietly as Sean ran for the door.

"We aren't going to do anything Kevin," he looked up at his brother, "this stops here, with Sarah," he looked back down at her on the table just Sean burst back through the door with the paramedics right behind him.

"Tommy?" Sean stopped when Tommy wiped the last tear from his face. He stepped away to let the paramedics work, not once taking his eyes off of her.

"I'm going with her," he asked the female paramedic who opened the door for him and let him in.


	14. ER

ER

**ER**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

With Sean and Kevin back at the bar, Tommy was left standing alone in the hallway as the paramedics took Sarah into the ER. It was then that his body started to throb. From exhaustion and emotional drain, he collapsed to his knees on the floor.

"Tommy?" he heard a woman's voice call him and for a split second, in his delirium and pain he thought it was Sarah. "Tommy, is that you?" The voice came closer to him to reveal a young woman in bright purple scrubs and multicolored hair.

"Holly?" He breathed, barely able to lift his head to look at her, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh my God Tommy, what happened to you? Here lie down." In the middle of the hallway, she helped him to the floor. "Can I get some help over here?!" She called out to the doctor and male nurse standing just a few feet away from them. They immediately rushed over with a stretcher and all three of them hoisted him up onto it.

"Tommy, do you know what happened to you? Do you know where you are?" She held on to his arm as they led him to a private examination room.

"I'm fine, really, I just need to see Sarah," he tried to get up but she and the nurse held him back down.

"Sarah's here too? Tommy, what happened?" A look of fear spread across her face.

"I just need to see her!" He tried to get back up, fighting as hard as he could but with no avail.

"Son, just let us check you out and you'll be good to go," the doctor nodded.

"Tommy, this is Dr. Harris. Just let him check you out okay, and then you can see Sarah." She squeezed his hand reassuringly as the doctor looked him over.

"What are you doing here?" He finally rested his head back down on the stretcher.

"Sheehan's isn't the only job I have you know. I'm taking nursing and my placement was here," she nodded trying to keep his attention from the doctor. She could tell he didn't like them being so close to him. "I have to put myself through school somehow." He smiled a little then cringed as the nurse started to sew the stitches on the side of his abdomen.

"Why is Sarah here?" she leaned over and whispered to him. Without answering, he looked distinctly at the doctor who was busy working away at putting him back together. She nodded her head in understanding and straightened back up, waiting for the men to finish.

"There you go." Fifteen minutes later, the doctor snipped the last stitch on his shoulder. "Holly, would you take care of the paperwork for me please? I need to get back to the floor." He smiled at them both before leaving the room.

"Sure thing Dr. Harris. Thanks again." She smiled back as he shut the door behind him Tommy sat back up on the stretcher swinging his feet to the side. He looked himself over, checking out the stitches on his side, before putting his shirt back on properly.

"Okay Tommy, why is she here?" Holly stood up beside him.

"When can I see her?" He stood up, careful not to hurt the stitches.

Holly sighed figuring he wasn't going to give her an answer. "Whenever they're done with her, I don't know! But I'm going to have to call Mr. Sheehan Tommy; he needs to know Sarah's here." Holly shook her head with her hands on her hips.

"No! Wait..." he looked like he was trying to find something to say.

"What? I need to call him; he has been looking for her since she didn't show up for her shift this morning."

"He'll kill me if he sees me Holly, like literally kill me okay? He hates me."

"Did you give him a reason to?" She cocked her head to the side.

"No, he just hates me because I'm his daughter's boyfriend." He shook his head, "And I guess it doesn't help that I'm a Donnelly..." he straightened his clothing as much as he could with his limited movement.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Holly followed behind him as he hobbled out of the examination room.

"Look, I really can't explain it all right now. I just need to figure out what's going on with Sarah." He stopped, turning around to look at her. "Holly, please," his face softened so much she actually felt bad for him, not even knowing what was going on. "That's my girlfriend in there, you know? I love Sarah more than _I_ even knew I did." He took a deep breath as she stared up at him. "I just need to know if she's going to be okay."

Holly looked around for doubtfully for a moment then back up at Tommy who had his hands on her shoulders.

"Okay, okay, I can probably find out what's going on but I don't know how long she's going to be in there," she shook her head defeated.

"Thank you Holly," he held her to him tightly. Now she knew why Sarah was with him, he definitely knew how to hold a woman.

"Okay, okay, before you pop Dr. Harris' stitches..." she pushed herself away before she got lost in those arms. She turned away and walked into the ER, staying off to the side. It was only about five minutes she was in there, when Mr. Sheehan came from what seemed like no where and punched him square in the face knocking him to the ground.

"You rat bastard! You little shite!" He kicked Tommy as he tried to get back up. "I'll kill you!" Turning from the ER Holly came running out to meet them, along with three security guards from down the hall.

"I told her you were nothing but trash! I told her you were going to get her hurt, and now she's here! I'll kill you!" He struggled against the security guards holding him back from kicking Tommy who was still on the ground.

Tommy thought to himself how Nicky must have thought of all of this, which is why they didn't kill him after beating him almost to death. There would be enough other people to try and do that for him. Holly helped him, coughing and panting up off the ground.

"That is my daughter in there, mine! My whole world you had displayed unconcious and out on the street you bastard!" He continued to fight the guards.

"You're not the only one who loves her Bryan!" Tommy checked his lip to find it bleeding again.

"But I'm the only one allowed now aren't I?" He stopped fighting the guards and shook them off. "I had to hear it from one of my customers that _my _little girl was dumped outside _your_ bar, looking like a punching bag someone went to town on. Do you know what that's like? To hear that kind of thing from a complete stranger and to not have been able to do anything about it? Of course you don't. You have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, you and the lot of you." He growled so fiercely Holly had goose bumps all over her body.

"By God Tommy Donnelly, if I catch you near my Babby again, I _will_ kill you." He stared Tommy down before walking past him and standing outside the ER door, looking in on his daughter.

Holly looked back at Tommy who just stood in place looking angry and hurt and ashamed all at he same time.

"Come on Tommy," Holly took him by the arm, let's go fill out that paperwork okay?" She smiled up at him. He looked at her with the deepest, saddest eyes she had ever seen on any man. "Come on."

Once they were out of sight, she pulled him to the side of the hall. "Listen, Tommy."

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen to Sarah you know, I was actually trying to keep her away from all this mess."

"Tommy, listen to me!" His head jerked up to look at her, as if he hadn't known she was there. "If she's bad and she's put in ICU tonight, Mr. Sheehan won't be able to stay in there tonight. He'll have t wait outside the room."

"How's that, she's her father?"

"If I know the resident here in the ER, he'll ask him to wait outside the first night. He'll want fully check her out incase it's a family sexual assault thing."

"Holly, no way was it like that and you know that!" He looked dead at her.

"Shhh, keep your voice down. I know Mr. Sheehan would never in his lifetime do anything like that but he'll keep her in there anyway. He's seen things like that before." Tommy just shook his head at her. Never in a million years.

"What are getting at with all of this Holly?" He rubbed his sore ribcage.

"Come back tonight at around two a.m. Meet me back around the loading dock in the paternity word, I'll let you in to see her. I'll know what happened by then"

"Yeah?" He half smiled.

"Just be here okay, I could be kicked out of school for this." She looked around then began to walk slowly towards the receptionist at the entrance to the ER.

"Thank you," he pulled her close with one arm and kissed her forehead, bumping his split lip as he did. "Damn it!" He put his hand up to it. "Thank you so much Holly," he smiled anyway.

"All right, okay, just fill these out for me," she discretely slid him the clipboard. When he wet to fill it out he saw it was just a piece of paper with her number on it. "Call me or text me when you get here, I'll come and let you in," she whispered. "Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Holly, I'll see you at two," he put the paper into his pocket and left the hospital.


	15. Know

**Know**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Wait a second." Holly walked through the hallway checking if anyone was coming. "All right," she waived him around the corner and toward Sarah's room.

"Where did he go?" Tommy tried as hard as he could to keep up with Holly as she quickly walked down the empty halls.

"He said he was going back to her apartment to freshen up and get some of her things." They paused outside the door checking around before going in. "Let's go." She quickly opened the door and let him in, closing the door behind her.

Tommy stopped short when he saw Sarah in the bed. If it weren't for the cuts and bruises covering her face and arms, and the bandages on her wrists, she would look like she was peacefully dreaming. It tore him apart to see her like that, and even more to know that her father was right, that it was purely because of him that it had happened.

At the foot of the bed, Holly took out the chart and began reading it over to herself. The further she got through reading what was on the chart, the more distraught and sad she became. "Oh my God," she covered her mouth with her hand.

"What, what is it?" Tommy looked up. Holly looked up from the chart, trying to find the right way to tell him.

"Um," she stuttered, "I'm sorry Tommy, I didn't know," she shook her head.

"Know what Holly, what happened?" He clenched his fists, bracing himself for the news.

"Well..." she flipped back the pages of the clipboard."It _says_ that she has two bruised ribs, a concussion and..." she trailed off.

"And?" His anger ripped through him with every word that came out of her mouth. "And?!"

Holly took a deep breath before continuing. "And it says that her pelvis was bruised so badly that she miscarried," she flipped the chart back over with her eyes welling up.

"But what does that mean?" he asked to angry to hear what she was trying to tell him.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry..."

"What does it mean Holly?!"

"Tommy, on top of the beatings, she was kicked so badly that she miscarried the baby."

His heart literally stopped.

"Wait, are you telling me?" He stood in place, not sure of how he felt in that very moment. "Are you saying she was pregnant? Sarah was pregnant?" He turned to look at her resting peacefully in the bed. He walked over and gently put her hand in his, looking over everything they had done to her. In the blur of the evening he had seen what they had done to her from the outside, be he didn't' even think...

"You didn't know..." Holly covered her mouth again. "Oh my God, you didn't know."

"She was pregnant..." he almost didn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth. "She didn't say anything, nothing at all..." His breath caught short at the thought. "We were going to have a baby?" That thought then crept up on him. The thought of being the father of her child, having a family of his own, a whole other life of his own. It was something that had never once occurred to him, and it was all taken away without even giving him the option or the chance. It had all been stripped away from him, in just one night.

Every so slightly, Sara's eyes fluttered. He felt her grip his hand gently, taking him by surprise.

"Sarah?" He whispered, brushing her hair. Her eyes fluttered again before her head moved back and forth and she opened her eyes to look up at him. She stared up at him for a while, looking completely confused and lost.

"Hey," Tommy smiled down, brushing her cheek with his finger. And as if gates had opened, everything came back to her in a floor of horrible memories. Her face dropped and her eyes welled as she remembered everything that they had done to her. With a single tear rolling down her cheek, she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away from him, letting go of his hand.

Something brushed against the outside of the door startling Holly.

"Tommy, we have to go!" She put the chart back in the tray and headed for the door.

"Sarah," Tommy begged for her to face him again. She sobbed harder and harder, pulling at the sheets. Pain covered her face with every breath she took.

"We have to get out of here Tommy, I could get expelled for this!" Holly stood with her hand on the door knob.

"I never wanted for any of this to happen, Sarah I swear," He reached for her hand but she pulled it away.

"_If _I still work here tomorrow, I'll let you back in, but we have to go _now!_"

Tommy looked back at Sarah before heading for the door. Opening the door carefully, she checked the hallway to see if anyone was there or if anyone was coming. Seeing no one she and Tommy darted down the hall back to the paternity. Walking past the infants in their cribs, his heart ached at the thought of someday having his own family. He actually longed for the feeling of holding his own son or daughter in his arms for the first time.

"Let's go!" Holly waved at him. He hadn't even noticed that he had stopped to gaze at the children. Quickly and quietly, Holly led him down the ward and out the back service entrance.


	16. Sullen

**Sullen**

**I ****do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Are you sure Babby?" Bryan held the tray of food over her for a moment longer before returning it to the cart at the side of the bed. He looked her over in the hospital bed, kissed her forehead and sat down in the chair beside her.

"Sarah, you have to talk to me honey, I need to know what's going on in with you. I need to know what happened love," he shook his head. Sarah sat up sullenly in the bed, absently focusing her attention on the display of x-rays across the room by the door. "Please honey."

She said nothing but stared blankly out into space, not even acknowledging that her father was there.

He gently took her hand in his, looking over the scabs that had started to form over what used to be her bare knuckles.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. It opened and Holly walked in. "Hey Mr. Sheehan," smiled warmly at him, closing the door behind her. Quietly she walked over to her friend's bedside. "Hey Sarah, feeling any better?" When she didn't respond Holly turned to her father.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Sheehan," she couldn't think of anything else to say to the obviously stressed and heartbroken man who sat quietly next to his daughter. He nodded tiredly with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked like he had not slept all that night.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" she walked around and put a supportive hand on his shoulder. He had always been kind to her, given her the job when she had no experience at all. He had said that he believed she would be a great nurse one day, and wanted to help her achieve her goal.

"As good as can be expected love, as good as can be expected," he nodded again. "I just wish I could get through to her, I just want her to talk to me, to someone," he rubbed his chin, taking a deep breath. He sat forward on the chair clasping his hands on his knees, looking at Sarah lying in the bed. It was almost as if she were in a completely different room, as if they weren't there at all.

"Why wouldn't she tell me? Her own father; all I would have done was try to help her. All I've tried to do is help her, but she just can't seem to see that."

"I'm sure she knows it Mr. Sheehan. She knows you're here now and that you've been watching over her all day. As long as I've known the both of you, you have always been able to compromise and get over anything. It'll probably take some time, but I think things will work out. I know they'll catch whoever did this," she smiled warmly.

"This is all that Donnelly boy's doing. I know it is. If it weren't for him and his unending stupidity, my Babby would be perfectly fine, instead of being left for dead on the street corner for all of Hell's Kitchen to see."

"Mr. Sheehan, Tommy..."

"Is a filthy, manipulating, bastard who needs to be locked up for life, that's what he is. He's not going near her again I tell you. Never again." He shook his head fervidly, as if to condemn him.

"The police will catch who did this Mr. Sheehan, I know they will."

"Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you but the police are likely to be on the Italian's payroll. They're just as dirty as Cottero and Alo are."

Holly paused for a moment, at a loss for words.

"Why don't you go home for a bit, maybe back to the restaurant to sort things out there? I know everyone's worried."

He looked as if he were considering it for a moment.

"And, I don't mean to bother you with these types of thing _right now_, but the schedule hasn't been made for next week and they'll need it for tomorrow." She tried to convince him.

"Maybe..." he shook his head.

"I'll stay with Sarah, and I'll let you know if anything happens. I'll call you right away. I know the doctors here; I've been working with them all year. I'll have Dr. Harris check her out again and then call you to let you know what he said okay?"

He looked up at Holly and smiled nodding his head. "Holly, you are going to make a great nurse, I know you will. You really know how to take care of people don't you?" He chuckled. Standing up, he brushed Sarah's hair out of her face. She continued to stare blankly across the room at the x-ray charts not acknowledging her father or Holly at all.

"I love her so much you know? I just wish she could have seen what I was trying to for her that I was trying to protect her from them. Now look what they've done," he paused looking as though he were about to cry. "They've destroyed my little girl, robbed her of her innocence." He became choked up as he spoke, playing with her fingers between his.

"I know for a fact she feels the same way about you Mr. Sheehan, but she likes to be independent, you know? Unfortunately she needed to find things out for herself."

He sighed, looking back up at Holly. "Did they teach you how to be that wise, or was that all on your own Holly? By God, I'm glad my Babby has friends like you in her life," he smiled. "I'll just stay for another hour or so, and then I'll head back to the restaurant for a bit." He sat back down. "Do you think you could have Dr. Harris come in while I'm gone? Check her out for me?"

Holly returned the smile. "Of course, and I'll call you to let you know everything he says. I'll check back with you in an hour okay?"

"That's fine, thank you sweetheart," he crossed his arms over his chest and sat back in the chair. "I knew I made the right decision in hiring you." He joked as she turned for the door.

"And you know I make the best crepes this side of New York," she winked before opening the door. "I'll see you soon Mr. Sheehan." she nodded before closing the door behind her.

Bryan sat watching his daughter who had somehow fallen asleep without them noticing. She did look peaceful in the bed, even with the monitors surrounding her. But he couldn't get the images out of his head of what he though she must have gone through all because of the worthless little Black Irish boy that she mistakenly fell in love with.

He was completely serious about what he had said to him the night before. Without a second thought, he would kill him if he came anywhere near Sarah again.

Out in the hallway Holly walked quickly to the front of the hospital, pulling her phone out the pocket of her bright purple scrubs, and dialing what she hoped she remembered was the number to the bar. When no one answered, she hung up and tried again. There was no way she went through all of that to make Mr. Sheehan leave his daughter just to have Tommy not come to the hospital while he was gone.

On the second attempt, someone picked up.

"Firecracker."

"Be at the hospital in an hour, I've convinced Mr. Sheehan to go back to the restaurant so you can visit Sarah while he's gone, but don't come in 'till I come and get you okay? If you come in here and he's still here, you're going to be in the hospital for a lot longer this time. Like in the morgue," she spoke so quickly into the phone; _she_ almost didn't catch what she had said.

"I haven't been in the hospital lately, who is this?"

"Tommy?" Her stomach turned.

"Tommy?" He chuckled, "Tommy, you sound like a chick, what have you done to yourself?" Jimmy joked.

"No this is Holly," she dropped her head, closing her eyes. "Awe shit, which brother is this?"

"Jimmy, and I don't think we've met, but maybe we should, you sound kind of hot."

"Jimmy? Listen Jimmy, we haven't met, maybe someday we will, but right now I need to speak to Tommy, is he around?" She shook her head, putting her hand to her forehead.

"Here? Nah, I haven't seen him. You could try Sarah's place or our house."

"Damn it, he really needs to get a cell phone."

"I know!" He laughed loudly into the phone, "We've been trying to tell him that for forever!" His laughing suddenly stopped. "Wait, wait a second, did you say you're at the hospital? Why is Sarah in the hospital? Better yet, why was Tommy in the hospital? What happened?" His tone changed from flirtatious to furious in an instant. She then realized what Sarah had been talking about.

"I can't really explain it right now, but if you see Tommy, can you please just tell him to call me?"

"Nah, nah, nah, not so fast honey, what's going on here? What happened to my brother?"

"I'm sorry Jimmy, I can't tell you that, if you find your brother he can tell you. But before you ask him, tell him to call me."

"No wait, Holly!" But before he could say anything else, she hung up on him, and just at the very instant Tommy decided to call.

"Tommy?" She answered.

"Hey Holly, how's everything going there," he sounded a little out of breath on the other line.

"Not bad, are you okay? You sound out of breath."

"Yeah, sorry I'm at home changing, and I think I just pulled one of my stitches pulling my shirt!" He looked down at his side which trickled blood down his pale skin.

"Just put some pressure on it. When it stops bleeding, if it is bleeding, then put a bandage on it. But listen Tommy, I convinced Mr. Sheehan to go back to the restaurant for a few so you could come here."

Tommy immediately stopped what he was doing and listened. "Holly, you're a goddess," he laughed happily.

"Yeah, yeah, just remember that I'm risking everything for you two. I know how much you mean to each other. Just be here in forty-five minute and wait in the same place for me okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, for sure! Thank you again Holly."

"Yeah, before you go praising me, there's something you should know."

"What, what's wrong? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, there's been no change with Sarah."

"So what is it?"

"I kind of called the Firecracker and let slip to your brother Jimmy that you had been in the hospital."

"You what? How?"

"Tommy, I'm sorry, I was just trying to help."

"I know," he huffed. "I'll deal with Jimmy, don't worry about it. But I'll be at the hospital. I have my brother's cell phone, I'll call you from that. Thanks again Holly."

Holly hung up the phone, putting it to her forehead, somehow trying to ease the pressure headache that was beginning to form behind her eyes. 'You owe me,' she said out loud, putting the phone back in her pocket and heading back to the ER.


	17. I Never

**I Never**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Holly opened the door allowing Tommy to quietly enter Sarah's room, walking up to her bedside and taking her hand in his. Not hearing the door close behind him, he turned to see Holly still at the door.

"She hasn't said a word to anyone, not even her dad." She sighed. "I'll be just outside, I don't know how long he'll be gone so, I'm going to keep watch." She inclined her head to him before closing the door. As she did, Sarah's hand moved in his, and she stirred in the bed.

"Sarah?" he brushed his finger gently against her cheek. When he did, she opened her eyes to look straight up at him.

"Hey," he took a deep breath and smiled down at her, just happy that she was awake. She stared back up at him for what seemed like forever. The machines around them echoed in the thick silence of the room. "Sarah, can you hear me?" He squeezed her hand. She continued to stare for a moment longer before she squeezed his hand back.

It was like a thousand pounds had been lifted off of his already aching body. "I..." He had practiced over and over what he was going to say when he saw her again, but now that he was right there, looking down in to those deep, sad eyes, he couldn't remember a single word of his speech. "I..." he tried to get out, over the tears that were burning behind his eyes and the wrenching feeling in his gut.

"Tommy," she whispered.

"Sarah, I..." he couldn't get the words out past he lump in his throat.

"Tommy," a tear rolled down her cheek, "I love you."

That broke him. He dropped down to his knees and held on to her hand in his, bringing it to his lips and just holding it there. He let go of all the grief, remorse and tears he had been holding up inside of him. He realized he couldn't keep his tough façade around her. He loved her more than his own life and there was no way he could do without her.

He looked up at her in the bed, his eyes red and stinging. She took a deep breath and cringed at the pain in her body.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. I, I never wanted you to get hurt, I never should have kept any of this from you..." He begged, sobbing into the sheets, with her fingers entwined in the curls on his dark hair. "You deserved to know."

"Tommy," she quietly called down to him. He wiped his face with his sleeve and stood back up. He had never begged for anything on his knees before, his father had taught him that. _'Don't' you beg Tommy, not for things like that. The only thing in the world worth begging for, I mean really getting right down on your knees for, is true love. Once you have that, you'll do anything to keep it.' _His father's words resonated in his head when he looked down at what he knew in his heart to be the love of his life.

"Tommy," she reached up for him and he bent over so she could get closer to him. She reached up and wiped his tears making him want to cry even more. She grabbed hold of his hand and put it to her face, feeling her chest constrict with the pain of everything that had happened. She had a million and one things she wanted to say but couldn't get a single word out to say them. Her mind just couldn't focus. It was then her turn to cry, and time for him to put the tough façade back on.

"It's okay," he sniffled, "Its okay, I'm here Sarah, I'm here." He lowered the roll bar and lifted one leg up to sit down on the very edge of the bed, carefully taking her into his arms. She sobbed quietly into his chest, having nothing else she could think of to do. He stayed like that till she couldn't cry any more. They had never been more vulnerable with each other than in that moment. There was nothing between them.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you," she started, shifting painfully on the bed to wrap her arm around his waist. "I was scared, I didn't know what to do." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"I honestly don't know what I would have said or done if you had. And I've been thinking about it, over and over in my head, wondering what it would be like to have a family of my own," he felt her arm tighten around him ever so slightly as he spoke. "What it might be like to have a child of my own. That's a thought that had never crossed my mind until now." He looked down at her, her head curled up on his chest, and the bandages and tape that scattered her arms, neck and face. "A family of _our_ own," he kissed the top of her head. "And I'm sorry I took that away from you. I never wanted any of this for you, you know that right?"

She nodded against him, afraid if she moved too much I would cause her more pain. "Tommy, what are they going to do now?"

He paused for a moment in thought. "I'm going to make sure that this never happens to _anyone_ again." He knew exactly what he was going to do, all he had to do was find the right time to do it, and it couldn't happen with her in the hospital. "Don't worry about it. All I want you to do is concentrate on healing and getting better all right?" She took another deep breath, and nodded again, knowing she didn't want to know what his plans were this time, not just yet anyway. She knew that he would end it, what she didn't know was what happened after that...


	18. Choose Your Own Story!

**Black Sunday **

**Choose your own!**

**I do not own / am not associated wit the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately…)**

Okay, so I have come to a crossroads. I had finished the next chapter of Black Sunday, but then, no word of a lie, had a dream about the story I was writing and have decided to create a totally different one to go next. So now I have two chapters and two ideas as to how the story should end.

I like both ideas so much that I have decided to have the rest of the story be a choose your own, and I will be writing two different paths for every chapter that is to follow from here on in.

I have never done anything like this before and am not sure how it's going to work, so please forgive me if I make a mistake (or three…) This will also mean that it will take a little longer for me to post my chapters as I will be writing two at a time instead of one at a time. Please have patience.

If you like either one of the story endings, PLEASE let me know which you prefer. I really like to get feedback from those reading my stories and appreciate everyone of you that do.

Thanks again to everyone, especially, mercydarkrose, iheartdean, L.M. Lachance, xx, and crystal for continuing to READ AND REVIEW this story. It really does mean so much to me.

Thanks again,

-Mamma D-

* * *

**Original Story**

**Please continue on to read TONIGHT**

**New Story**

**Please go to the chapter entitled CAPTIVE  
**


	19. Tonight

**Tonight**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"You have to go," Sarah rolled back over, away from Tommy who still lay next to her in the bed.

"I'm not leaving you again," he stood up beside her, "I don't care what your father says, I'm not going anywhere."

"Tommy, you have to understand that he just thinks he knows what's best for me, he's doing his best. I don't know why the two of you can't just see eye to eye, you two have been arguing since you first met."

"The man hates me Sarah, and with good reason," he shook his head. "I just nearly got his daughter killed, not to mention," he took a deep breath and looked away from her before saying it, "not to mention robbed him of his first grandchild." He licked and bit his lip keeping his emotions in check. "Name one good reason he should _want_ to see eye to eye on anything with me?"

"Me." Sarah painfully shifted herself in the bed so that she could sit up and talk to him.

"I'm sorry?"

"You both claim to love me so much and say you'd do anything to make me happy, but you can't seem to realize that it's having the _both_ of you in my life that does that. Even if you don't like each other for _whatever _reason, it wouldn't kill you to just _pretend_ to get along when you're around me."

"Sarah you weren't there, he threatened to kill me in front of a room full of people. He wasn't kidding! Even Holly knows he's out for me. If I try and befriend this man now, he's likely to chop me up into little pieces and throw me in the dumpster out behind the restaurant. Hell, I don't even understand how _you_ can look me in the eye after all that's happened."

"Tommy, I've never felt anything like this about anyone else in my life. I don't even know if I should but I do okay? It scares me to think of what I would do without you, especially now." She hissed at another pain in her side as she shifted herself on the bed.

Her words hit Tommy dead in the chest. He'd never had anyone say anything like that to him before. It would kill him if he ever lost this woman.

"Please, could you just try for me," she panted, "I'll, I'll talk to him, I'll get it through to him, he'll come around. He'll.. he'll listen to me." She seemed to be struggling to sit up. He went over to help her up.

"Are you okay?" He looked down at Sarah who seemed to be in even more pain. "Sarah?"

"Tommy," she panted, her face was now contorting with pain. She dug her fingers into his arm so hard, it was starting to bruise.

"Tommy," she choked, "get the doctor." She slammed her back down on the bed, fighting against the pain. When he looked down at the bed, blood pooled in the sheets between her legs.

"Sarah? Sarah!" He raced across the room and out the door just in time to see Jimmy coming around the corner.

"Tommy! What the hell is going on? Some chick calls me and tells me you're in the hospital. What the hell's with that?" He followed along side his brother.

"Not now Jimmy. I need a doctor! Can somebody help me!" He ran down the hall towards the reception desk, but not before a doctor came out of one of the rooms on the way.

He looked over his brother, now seeing all of his cuts and bruises. "Tommy, what the hell happened to you? Where's Sarah?"

"Doctor, please, my girlfriend's just down the hall, she's bleeding, I don't know what's wrong. You have to check her out, please?" He was barely comprehensible as he spoke.

"Where is she?" the doctor inclined his head to them. Running back down the hall, Jimmy and the doctor followed close behind. "Tommy, talk to me, what's going?" He stopped when he walked into the room and saw her in the bed, writhing in pain.

"Tommy?!" Sarah cried from the bed, laying in what was now a puddle of her own blood. The terror and agony on her face made even Jimmy flinch.

"Sarah, oh my God," was all Jimmy could get out. "What the hell..." Tommy stood on the other side of the bed holding her hand, not knowing what else to do. The doctor picked up the intercom and called for others.

"Who the he'll did this to her?" He ground his teeth. "Tell me who hurt the two of you." Jimmy shook his head in anger.

"Not now Jimmy!"

"Jesus..." he stood and watched as what looked to be another doctor and two nurses rush to her bedside.

"Are you supposed to be in here?" The male nurse from the incident in the hallway recognized him.

"You're going to have to wait outside," the doctor put a hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"What's happening to her?!" Tommy looked around frantically as the nurse backed him up towards the the door.

"At first glance, it looks like she may have ripped the stitches we put in her. We need to get her to the OR so we can get her closed up okay? We'll let you know what happens as soon as we're done." Having no choice he and his brother both left the doctors to do their work.

"No!" He finally looked up at the large black man standing in front of him. He tried to push him out of the way but the man didn't budge.

"Its time to go sir," his voiced boomed even over the chaos of the room.

"Sarah!" He peered over the nurse's shoulder, "Sarah I'll be back." He called to her as he was practically dragged out of the room.

"Damn it!" Tommy shouted, "Get off me!" He ripped his arm away from the nurse. The man just looked down at him and shook his head before going back into the room.

Outside the room, Holly came running down the hallway. "I'm sorry, I was called away to paediatrics. What happened?" she panted, out of breath.

"Yeah, I'd like to freakin' know that myself. Why the hell do you both look like you were hit by something very large and very angry that was _not _that man in there?" Jimmy paced between them. "This I would like to know very, very much Tommy, 'cause I have a feeling, but I'd like_ you_ to _confirm _my suspicions."

"They came to the bar," he began to pace outside the room, "Me and Sarah... We were having a fight. I..." Tommy put his hands to his head again, feeling guilty and infuriated.

Holly stood aside watching and listening as Tommy came clean to his brother. "What happened?" she looked back and forth between the two.

"Tell me who it was Tommy!" Jimmy paced harder and faster.

"Nicky came in and took me away, but I didn't know, I didn't think even _he _was capable..."

"God damn it, that sonofabitch!" Jimmy yelled at the top of his lungs.

Tommy bit his bottom lip. "Jimmy," he looked up at his brother with anger and sadness in his voice, then back at the door separating him from her. "She was pregnant," he turned back around with his head bowed and his hands planted firmly in his dark hair.

Jimmy stopped in his tracks. "Come again?"

"She was pregnant Jimmy, she was going to have a baby. We were going to have a baby," he turned back around to face them.

It took Jimmy a moment to process what he had just told him. "Pregnant? She was having a baby? But I saw her drinking at the bar," he cocked his head as if he hadn't heard him correctly. "I was going to be an uncle? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't know! She didn't tell me. She didn't tell anybody." Tommy turned away from him facing the wall. That thought hadn't even occurred to Tommy but seemed to fuel his brother's anger even more.

"You mean to tell me that they did all of this and she was pregnant? Did they know?"

"They must have Jimmy, that's why they didn't kill me. That's the only reason I can think of!"

"How would they have found out if even you didn't know?" At that moment they both turned to Holly.

"Wait, what? I had no idea! I found out when I read the chart, same as you!" She put up her hands defensively.

"Then who could they have found out from, how the hell..." They both looked up at each other.

"Joey!" They said in unison.

"That stinkin' weasel! Come to think of it, I only saw her drinking around him. He must have given her that non-alcoholic crap we have left behind the bar. Damn it, I'm going to kill that little, mother..." Jimmy turned on his good leg to begin pacing again. "Well what are we going to do Tommy, what do you want to happen. You just name it."

Tommy looked back at the room trying to sort all the thought out in his head which made him feel as if he were going to haemorrhage. He wanted to go back in there. He wanted to make sure she was okay. But then, another thought occurred to him. After she was well again, how long would it be before hey came after her again? Would they even wait? There was no way he was going to let anything like this happen to her again.

Just then he doctor and nurses bolted through the door with Sarah on the stretcher. Her face was pale and she was barely moving. She struggled keep her focus on him, mouthing something he couldn't make out.

"What's happening? Is she going to be okay?" Tommy ran down the hall alongside the stretcher. Her petite hand was clammy and cold as he took it into his.

"We're going to have to get her on a table up as quickly as possible," the doctor spoke as he jogged down the hall.

"What's going to happen?"

"We don't know just yet son, but you're going to have to wait outside until we're finished." The doctor stopped him just outside the operating room as the other nurses took her out of sight.

"Please you've gotta tell me something! What's happening? What are you going to do? Is she going to be okay?" Tommy pleaded with the doctor. Holly and Jimmy stood behind listening anxiously.

"We can't say anything for sure son," the doctor patted him on the shoulder.

"What do you mean you don't know? You're a goddamned doctor!" Jimmy jumped in.

"Jimmy!" Tommy yelled back not wanting him to upset the doctor that may very well be the one to save Sarah's life.

"Listen, I know you're worried, but you will have to wait until we know exactly what's going on. I'll be back to let you know what's happened." The doctor nodded patting him once more on the shoulder before turning and leaving them in the hallway.

"Tommy," Holly slowly approached him. "You may not want to stick around and wait, Mr. Sheehan has probably been contacted by now and will be on his way here," she gently reminded him.

"Tommy what the hell are we going to do about this? There's no way we can let 'em get away with this." Jimmy joined them. "It's your call; what are we doing?"

After a moment he took a deep breath and looked back at Holly and Jimmy. "We're going to go home and get Kevin and Seany, and we're going to end this, tonight."

* * *

**CONTINUE ON TO READ**

**BROTHERS**


	20. Captive

**Captive**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Dad, would you at least let me _try_ and walk on my own?" Sarah tried to sit up in the wheelchair but her father just pushed her right back down into it.

"Sarah, you're not doing anything of the sort. The doctor said you need your rest, you just got out of the hospital," he pushed her to the kitchen table of her tiny apartment. It was a small enough space with just one person in it, but with two people, not to mention one in a wheelchair, it was almost impossible to get around.

"A week and a half ago Dad! I got out of the hospital almost two weeks ago. I'm okay to walk around. The doctor only said I should be off my feet for a week." Her father had not left her alone for more than an a few hours since she had been released from the hospital and she was beginning to feel stifled. She knew he just wanted to take care of his daughter but also imagined he was also keeping Tommy at bay.

She hadn't been able to see him since he last came to her hospital room. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep with him there and waking up alone. He hadn't called, or visited or anything since then.

Her father seemed determined to keep him away from her at all costs and in every way. He had even moved the picture that Jimmy had taken of her and Tommy outside the Firecracker from her bedside table and hidden it somewhere she hadn't been able to find it. It was one of the few pictures he had let her take of him. Tommy was never one get volunteer to get in front of the camera. She possessed maybe four or five pictures of him in total, and only two of them she would dare show anyone for fear of embarrassing him.

"So what am I making you tonight? I bought some beef and some brown rice; maybe we'll make a nice stew to put atop? How's that sound?"

Sarah sat slumped in the chair with her head propped up in her hand and her elbow on the armrest of the chair. All that she could think about was Tommy. Where was he? How was he? What was he doing? Who was he with? What was he thinking? Was he thinking of her?

"Sarah!" Her father's voice sliced through the barrage of thoughts.

"Stew, yeah that sounds great," she looked up at him with a façade of a smile. Her father saw right through it.

"Babby, don't even think about him. He's gone, you don't have to worry. He can't hurt you any more." He walked over from the counter, kissed her lightly on the top of the head and went right back to what he was doing. If she didn't know any better, she would of thought that her father was glad that she was unhappy.

"I'm going to lie down for a bit," she started for her bedroom in her chair.

"Okay Babby, you get some rest. I'll call you when supper's done okay?" He called to her as she left he room. As soon as he was out of sight, she slowly stood up out of the chair and pushed it to the side of the room. Carefully she removed the robe she'd been wearing for practically the last two weeks. It was the one Tommy had left there when he first spent the weekend with her at her apartment. He wore it almost every time he was there and it still vaguely smelled of him.

Sarah loved her father, but she was a grown woman who couldn't stand being babied, especially while being held captive in her own home.

Carefully reaching over to the bedside table where the picture used to be, she grabbed her phone and dialed Kevin's number with no answer. She tried both Jimmy and Sean's phone with the same result, nothing. Hanging up, she looked out the window hesitant to try the one number she'd been avoiding for the past few weeks. Opening her phone she called the Donnelly house knowing Tommy would probably be there as he usually was that day.

"Hello?" It was the one person she hadn't wanted to talk to, Mrs. Donnelly.

"Hi, Mrs. Donnelly, is Tommy there?" She spoke quietly, hoping she wouldn't recognize the voice. She had no idea of what Tommy's mother knew of the situation.

"Sarah, is that you? How are you doing sweetheart, I heard that you were in the hospital for a bit. Is everything okay?" Tommy looked up at his mother at the mention of Sarah's name.

"I'm okay, just a little pain in my side," she stretched the truth as far as it could go. Tommy had always said that his mother could always tell when someone was lying to her. "I had to get something or other removed. Minor stuff, but I'm feeling much better now."

"Well that's good to hear. I stopped by your restaurant last week and the greeter, nice young man, what's his name?" She looked down at the table at Tommy, who shook his head at her.

"Josh," Sarah answered, rolling her eyes. She could have killed him and his big mouth.

"Josh. Yes Josh, had told me that you were in the hospital. I'm just glad it's noting serious."

"Thanks, me too. I'll have to make sure I'm there next time you come. I'll fix you up something nice."

"Oh don't worry about it, we'll sort something out." She turned back to Tommy. "Did you want to speak to Tommy?" He shook his head furiously at his mother.

"Yes please, thank you." Tommy had not called her since she last saw him.

"One second Sarah," She put her hand over the receiver. "Sarah's on the phone for you," she held it out to him still covering the mouthpiece.

"No! Ma!" Tommy waived it off.

"Tommy, she just got out of the hospital, and I have a good feeling that she wasn't telling me _everything _about what put her there." She raised an eyebrow at her son who's own wounds had begun to disappear. "So help me Tommy, you are going to own up to this girl."

Giving up, he took the phone from his mother and put it to his ear.

"Hello?" she heard the hand move from the mouthpiece.

"Hey," he looked up at his mother and got up from the table to go to his room.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah," he paused, closing the door behind him and locking it. "How are you?"

"How am I? Are you serious Tommy? Where did you go? One minute you were there and the next I was alone. Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for weeks." Sarah let go of all the frustration, anger and longing she had been hoarding for the last three weeks. Even though she had been ready to leave him, she still wanted him there with her now.

"Sarah, I'm sorry, I..." he flopped himself down on his bed covering his eyes with his hand. He too was at odds with himself.

"What Tommy? I've been going crazy here waiting for you to call," she sniffled into the phone. "I miss you," the confession tugged at Tommy's already strained heart. He felt the exact same way. "Why haven't you called me? Come to see me? Anything?" She was lightly sobbing now, unable to stop her own body.

"Sarah..." He uncovered his face looking up at the ceiling.

"Was it," her chest tightened, " was it the baby? I know I should have told you, maybe things would have been different..."

"No, God no Sarah," he sat up in the bed. "I don't want you to ever think that okay? That's not it at all."

She had to think about that for a moment. That was the only reason she could think of why he would be avoiding her. "Then what?" she barely whispered through her tears, "you don't feel the same way about me any more?"

"Sarah," he breathed. "It's not that. I still love you, more than ever." She could hear him fighting with his own thoughts as se tried to drag it out of him.

"Then what?"

"Sarah, it's your father."

Her tears stopped almost instantaneously. "My dad?"

"Sarah, I don't want to do this to you okay, you should be resting, you don't need this right now."

"What did he do Tommy?" She wiped the tears from her face, the anxiety and sadness having been replaced with anger.

"Sarah."

"What did he do Tommy!"

"He came to the house looking for me." Tommy shook his head regretting every word that left his lips.

"He what!" She was about to yell but caught herself remembering her father was in the next room.

"Sarah, I don't want us to come between you and your father all right. It's not worth it."

"Don't tell me what it's worth! I want to know what he did!"

"Sarah..."

"Tommy, he's in my home right now, and if he did what I think you're about to tell me he did, then I have a right to know."

At that moment, he hated himself and every word that came out of his mouth. He knew she would be furious with her father, but cared about her too much to lie to her. "Let's just say he came to let me know that my life might be in danger if I even thought about you ever again." He shook his head dropping it into the palm of his hand.

"He came to your house?"

"Sarah, after all that's happened, can you blame him? I mean really?"

"I hate that what happened, happened. I hate Cottero and his fucking Italian goons. I'm so more than angry with them and so more than scared of them. But I'm alone right now Tommy, and I can't deal wit all of this by myself. I thought I could but I can't. I wanted to leave you to protect my family," she paused, placing a hand on her stomach. "To protect our family. And it took nearly losing everything including my life to know that I can't live without you."

"Sarah," his heart broke with every word she said.

"This might all sound like a bunch of mushy shit, and it may just be a bunch of mushy shit, but Tommy, I believe in it, regardless of everything. God I'm scaring _myself _with all of this."

"God I love you." He sighed into the phone. Not ever had anyone been this dedicated to him. He didn't even know if Jimmy would ever be able to forgive him if he had ever found out the truth, and she was professing her love for him after just being almost beaten to death and having her unborn child taken away from her. It was almost too much for him to comprehend. How someone who had know him for such a short time could... He didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Tommy, now you let me take care of it. I'm going to have a talk with my father okay?"

"Sarah, I don't want to come in between you and your dad okay? I would never want that."

"Don't worry about it, I'm going to talk to him. Would you come here later tonight? Maybe around ten?"

"Sarah..."

"Don't worry, he'll be gone by then. I really would like to see you tonight. Please Tommy?"

She knew just how to get to him. "Okay, ten o'clock. I'll call your phone first."

"Thanks, I'll see you later."

"Bye."

* * *

**CONTINUE ON TO READ**

**NOT READY**


	21. Brothers

**Brothers**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnellys**_** in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"What the hell happened to you Tommy!" His mother grabbed hold of his chin, looking over his wounds. Pulling his face away from her he walked towards his room.

"Not now Ma. Kevin! Seany! You here?" Tommy opened his door to find them both sitting and talking, Sean on the bed and Kevin at the small desk in the corner. "Get your jackets."

"Tommy, what's going on here? What are you planning to do?" She instinctually knew something bad was happening.

"How's Sarah?" Kevin got up quickly from the bed to put a sweater on.

"Sarah? What's wrong with Sarah? Tommy where are you going?!" She chased after him through the house.

"Not good Kevin," Jimmy shook his head remembering how she scared and pale she looked. "We're putting a stop to this whole thing tonight," He filled them in while Tommy made his way to the kitchen. Both Kevin and Sean looked at each other before leaving the bedroom to get their jackets.

"Tommy, where are you taking my boys! Is it Dokey? The Italians?! I want you to stay away from those men, you hear me?!" His mother yelled. "You're staying right here!" On most mothers, it would look like frantic worry, but on Mrs. Donnelly, only anger came across.

"Ma! We're just taking care of some business okay, nothing to worry about," Jimmy put a reassuring hand on his mother's shoulder, smiling.

"My foot you are! You're _my_ boys, and I'll be damned if I'm going to send you off to be killed! Tommy, I want to know what's happening right now damn it!"

"You really want to know what happened Ma? Really?" He grabbed a shot glass from the cupboard and the whisky from on top of the fridge, quickly pouring himself a shot and downing it. "Sarah was pregnant Ma, she was pregnant." After pouring and finishing another, he threw the glass in the sink and made his way back to the bedroom Kevin, Jimmy and Sean stood waiting at the kitchen table.

"Pregnant?" His mother stood aghast.

"Do you want us to bring anything?" Jimmy piped up while Kevin and Sean just looked at one another shocked at the news.

"Everything's at the bar," Tommy rummaged through the closet.

"What do you mean _was _pregnant Tommy, what happened to her?" She cocked her head in his direction.

"I mean Ma, that Nicky Cottero and his thugs dragged me out of the Firecracker right in front of her, and beat the living shit out of me Ma. All the while I had no idea that they were doing the same thing, and God knows what else, to Sarah. That's how I mean _was _Ma," he stood up and looked at his mother, near tears and more furious than he'd ever been. All he could think about was finding Nicky.

"Sweet Mary and Joseph," she put her hand to her mouth, steadying herself on the chair at the table. "Is that why she was in the hospital? This is what they did to you?" She cupped his flushed cheek in her hand. She could see the pain and guilt behind the anger in his eyes.

"Yeah Ma, that's why, and that's why I'm here and Sarah's in the hospital bleeding all over herself." He turned from his mother and grabbed his own jacket from the closet.

"You ready?" He inclined his head to his brothers before walking past them.

"Tommy no! You don't know what you're getting into! I don't want you to end up like your father! Tommy!" She called to him as he opened the door to leave. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. He looked at her for a moment then walked over to her.

"Ma, they hurt Sarah," he took her hand in his. "They killed her baby, our baby, your grandchild." He looked down at her sober faced and serious. "What would you do if some stole us from you?"

His brothers watched as they looked at one another for what seemed like forever before she took a deep breath and sighed. "You come back here in one piece, you hear me? All of you." She looked over at the three now at the door who stood nodding.

"I want _my_ boys back." A tear left her eye, realizing just how he must be feeling and knowing that there wasn't much she could do to stop them from doing what ever it was they were planning to do.

"Thank you Ma," he took her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. The others joined him in hugging their mother and giving their love before they all turned from her and left quietly for the bar.

* * *

**Go on to read**

**MEETING**


	22. Not Ready

**Not Ready**

**I do not own / am not associated with the **_**NBC **_**show **_**The Black Donnelly'**_**s in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

As she walked back to her room her phone rang. As quick as she could, she made her way back to her room, picking up the phone just after four rings.

"Hello, hello?" she hoped they hadn't hung up.

"Sarah."

"Jimmy? Is that you?"

"Don't insult me, Sarah," the voice scoffed. "I miss that lilac skin of yours," he chuckled. She immediately froze realizing it was Cottero on the other line. Her heart hammered inside her chest, actually hurting her. "You there sugar?"

"What do you want?" She barely whispered into the phone.

"What do _I _want? What, you thought I forgot 'cause it's been like two weeks? It's not that simple, and apparently you don't break so easily honey." He laughed at her. She sat down slowly on her bed, not knowing what else to do. "I want Tommy Donnelly very cold and very dead."

"What did he do that was so horrible that you came after us, that you had to take away our baby?" There was a long silence on the line before she heard him sigh.

"Well sweetheart, your boyfriend has killed a lot of people and has cost me a lot of money, humiliation and pain. I was degraded and humiliated every day he walked the streets. I want him to pay before I put him in the ground and that means going after his weaknesses.

"Me?"

"That's right sugar. You better believe I'm keeping an eye on you, watching you hobble around in that horrible robe you were in." She realized he knew what she had been wearing. She looked around the room, getting up off the bed to go and close the curtains. "You better go back and check the door..."he chuckled as she dropped the phone and walked as fast as she could to her front door. Just as she was about to lock it, it opened and a male hand appeared through the crack to stop it from closing. She screamed as she pounded on the door to try and shut it.

"Leave me alone! Stop it!" She cried, putting all her weight on the door, hoping to close it. "Somebody, help me!"

"Sarah! Sarah! It's me! It's Tommy!" He grabbed her wrist through the door. "Sarah! It's okay!" He could hear her sobs in between the screams as she fought him from the other side. "Sarah! It's Tommy!" Slowly she eased up on the door, just enough for him to carefully push it open and see her sliding down the other side and onto the floor. Her face was wet and flushed from the tears and pain. "Sarah," slid into the apartment and knelt down beside her, taking her up into his arms. Wrapping her arms around him she sobbed into the nape of his neck, her tears soaking through the front of his shirt. Carefully he picked her up from the floor and carried her over to her bed, placing her down on top of the covers.

"Tommy, he's here, he's watching me," she squeezed her eyes shut, taking deep breaths.

"Here? Now?" He stood up to look around the room, noticing all the curtains had been pulled. Quickly he went back to the front door and shut it, turning both the door lock and the deadbolt. "Was he in here?" When he got back to the room, Sarah was sitting up on the side of the bed with one hand on her head and one hand on her stomach, trying to stifle her tears.

"He was watching me. He called my phone, he knew what I was wearing," She shook her head and looked up at him. "Tommy, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm trying to figure out things as best I can, but I barely know what going on." He sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her. Closing his eyes, he pressed his nose up against her temple, missing the softness of her skin and the lilac scent of her hair. It had only been just over a week but somehow it felt like forever.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry," he grazed her cheek with a kiss.

Sarah closed her eyes and turned her head towards him, pressing her cheek against his. "Tommy, we have to do something, we can't just wait until they do something first. Cottero said he wouldn't stop till you were cold and dead. I think he knew I was pregnant Tommy. I asked him and he didn't deny it. I don't know how he could have known, I mean the only people that knew..." she sat up straight realizing now how it could have happened.

"Who knew?"

She sighed, disappointed more than angry, as she knew that what was done was done and nothing could be done about it now.

"Who knew Sarah?" Tommy pressed. Who would she have told before him?

"I did tell Joey that..."

"Son of a bitch!" He huffed, "I'm going to kill him..."

"Tommy he was the only one who knew the situation, he was the only one I could talk to who would have been unbiased."

"You could have talked to _me _Sarah."

"Tommy, I was scared, I was going to leave. I was planning on taking my father and leaving New York, at least for a while. I know he didn't mean to. They probably just overheard him talking about his friend's friend that was pregnant or something. I know he would never mention my name. He was the one who helped me keep it a secret."

"He helped you hide your pregnancy from me? And that's not _another_ reason that I should wring his neck?"

"Tommy, he was genuinely excited for me, he understood the situation I was in. He may seem like a dimwit, but he's a good guy. He even went out and bought non-alcoholic beer for me and kept it at the bar. He went out of his way to help me. He would never intentionally hurt me."

"Sarah," he started to protest.

"Tommy, never mind Joey, what's done is done. We have to figure out what we're _going_ to do. I've come too close to death to know that I'm not ready to die, not yet. I've had some time to think about all of this, this past week, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm tired Tommy. I know we just started, but I'm tired of running. I want it to be the way it was, when we had nothing to worry about but being late for work or school."

"I know Sarah," he stroked the back of her head, guilt wrenching at his stomach.

"He wants you dead Tommy." She leaned away from him, looking him dead in the eye.

"That's not going to happen."

"How do you know that? Do you know their every move? Where they are right now? Did you know they were watching me?" Frustrated, she got up and walked out to the kitchen to carry on what her father had started. She was a a loss. She had no idea what the right thing to do was at that moment. She just wanted things back to the way they used to be, but she knew that was never going to happen. Tommy followed her to the kitchen, standing beside her at the counter.

"Sarah, look at me," he took the knife away from her and set it down. "Please," he brushed her cheek with his fingers. She turned to look at him, his bright eyes sparkling back at her with a facade of courage and stability hiding behind it the worry and sadness he held for her. "You know I love you right? Right?" She nodded finally, looking away from him. "I promised you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you and I failed, and I am so sorry for that."

"Tommy, I..."

"I will take care of this for us. I won't let it get that far again."

"Get him before he gets us right?" As she said it, she realized that not even a month ago she would never have had these thoughts running through her head. But now all she wanted was to have him gone. She was more hurt than she let on, something she inherited from her father. She wasn't as tough as she appeared and Tommy had a feeling.

"Absolutely. I'm not letting anyone get hurt again," he took her into his arms and kisses her lightly. They stood cheek to cheek in the kitchen entwined in each other's arms. "Not while I'm still breathing."

**Go on to read:**

**ENVELOPE**

* * *

**UPDATE **

Okay. So. There's good news, and there's bad news...

The Bad News: is, the computer I was writing my fics on, my little handheld PDA, the card f'ed up so all that work is lost.

EEK!!! SORRY! Please don't yell!

The Good News!! I have hand written notes for all the chapters so I can write them again.

I've been trying everything to get all that work back which is another reason I haven't posted in so long. But I will get them up. I just have to find as much as I can from what was lost, and make myself do it. Though it's really hard to start again after losing all the work you did you know? Anyway. I will finish, just maybe a little later than sooner.

Thanks again to everyone who has e-mailed and reviewed and have been kept wanting. I am sorry, sometimes technology sux. I learned the hard way!

-Mamma D


	23. Envelope

**Envelope**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in**

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Tommy opened his eyes to the afternoon sun shining in the window of Sarah's one bedroom apartment. Shirtless and hungry, he propped himself up on his elbows looking around the small empty room. Sleep at Sarah's was always better than sleeping at home where he had to share a room with Jimmy who tossed and turned and snored and even talked all wile he was sleeping. Sarah barely ever moved and was always quiet when she slept.

As his eyes adjusted to the room, the smell of eggs and bacon wafted towards him and an image of Sarah in her silk night gown, over the stove cooking breakfast for him made him smile. Throwing the sheets off, he stood up yawned, the glare off of the wheelchair in the corner catching his eye.

"Sarah?" he went into the washroom to relieve himself before washing his hands and making his way to the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen, he saw that she had spread a complete breakfast out on the table for him, complete with orange juice and the paper. He smiled inwardly, thinking of how much effort it must have taken for her to make it in her condition.

"Sarah?" he called through the house. The smile left his face when he realized that he had just been through almost every room in the apartment and he hadn't seen or heard her. "Sarah, you here?" he checked the washroom again and head back to the washroom. She wasn't in the apartment. He started to worry. Sitting back down on the bed he realized that he had no way of calling her as she didn't have a house phone and he didn't have a cell phone.

"Damn it!" He yelled pulling his pants on and grabbing his jacket. As he head for the door. Just as he put on his shoes to leave he put his hand in his pocket for his keys, finding an envelope instead. Tommy stopped in his tracks looking at Sarah's writing on the front of it. Anger overcame him as he tore it open.

_Tommy,_

_It has to end. For the both of us._

_I love you._

_Sarah_

"God damn it Sarah!" He yelled, crumpling the paper in his hands and shoving it back into his pocket. Trowing the door open, he locked the door behind him and bolted down the stairs and out of the building.

* * *

**Go on to read:**

**HARSH**


	24. Harsh

**Harsh**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Immediately, Tommy made his way to the Firecracker, thinking he might need to get one of his brothers and something to defend himself with. When he reached the bar, Kevin was on the phone and Joey was standing by the window, watching anxiously.

"Tommy! We've been trying to get a hold of you all morning! Where have you been?" Kevin hung up the phone.

"Why what's wrong?"

"Sarah, she was in here this morning," Joey moved away from the window to join the conversation.

"We tried to stop her but she took one of the guns and left. She didn't even say where she was going or what she needed it for." Kevin put his hands up defensively.

"What?! Why would she even..."

"We tried Tommy, really we did." Joey shook his head.

"How did she even know where they were?" He let out under his breath.

"Tommy, it's a bar, she's a smart girl," Kevin shook his head.

"You come with me." He headed down the cellar stairs with the others following behind him. When they reached the cellar, Kevin and Joey stopped in the doorway while Tommy moved boxes out of the corner of one of the rooms.

"What's going on Tommy? Is Sarah okay?" Joey asked with his hands in his jacket pockets.

"You seem to know more about Sarah than I do these days don't you Joey?" Tommy paused to look up at Joey who lowered his head and looked away.

"Did I miss something?" Kevin glanced back and forth from Tommy to Joey.

"Tommy, I'm sorry, she told me to tell nobody. Nobody!"

"Then how the hell did they find out Joey? How the hell did Nicky know about Sarah?!" Tommy stopped looking through the boxes to stand face to face with Joey.

"Tommy, I swear I never said Sarah's name to anyone! I swear!"

"That didn't stop him from finding out did it Joey? Did it!" Kevin stepped in just as Tommy shoved Joey back almost making him trip over the boxes behind him.

"Whoa, woah, woah! What the hell?! Tommy!" Kevin stepped between the two of them. Tommy glared at Joey who was holding his shoulder where Tommy had pushed him back. Joey had looked up to Tommy most of all, and to have Tommy mad at him was almost heartbreaking.

"Tommy, I'm sorry." Joey shook his head.

"Sarah is just too trusting sometimes." Tommy shot back before turning back around and pulling out the large metal toolbox from the corner. Removing the keys from his jacket pocket, he unlocked the toolbox, pulling out two handguns and a shotgun.

"Woah, Tommy! Where did those come from?" Kevin took the handgun his brother passed to him.

"This," he locked the box again with the guns in his hands, "is that backup plan that I've been talking about since you and Jimmy screwed everything up last year with Louis Downtown."

"You actually had one?" Kevin checked the magazine of the gun.

"And why do you look so comfortable with that gun Kevin?"

"Tommy, in the past seven months, I've had my fair share of gun handling, we all have."

"Let's go," Tommy stepped past them and headed upstairs.

"Tommy, I want to help," Joey called after them.

"No," Tommy answered without even looking back.

"Tommy please! I want to help. I care about Sarah too."

Tommy stopped and turned around again. "You care about Sarah? You? Sarah is the world to me. She," the words caught in his throat. "She was going to be the mother of my child Joey. You have that kind of relationship with her?"

"No, but..."

"But nothing Joey. She may have been able to forgive you, but me, not so easily."

"Tommy, I think you're being a little harsh." Kevin stepped up in Joey's defense.

"Harsh? Harsh is when your friend's girlfriend confesses to you that she's pregnant and you don't tell that friend, but manage to let everyone else know, especially the people who are out to kill your friend."

"Tommy I'm sure it wasn't like that," Kevin shook his head.

"It wasn't, Tommy I swear," Joey was almost hyperventilating

"And whatever you're about to do, you're going to need help. You can't go in there all by yourself."

"I'll call Jimmy and Sean," he waved them off and continued on.

"You don't have time! Tommy! Give Joey a gun; we're _both_ going with you. Sarah is your girlfriend but she's also _our_ friend." Tommy stopped in the doorway and looked at them both.

"Tommy, I'm really sorry that what happened to you guys happened, but I swear on my mother's life, I didn't tell anybody, not a single soul, Tommy I swear." The anger in Tommy's heart was heavy but the look on Joey's face was sincere and heart filled. Three _was_ better than one. He took the keys from his pocket and threw them to Joey. Go get one. But hurry up!" He didn't even get to finish before Joey was running down to the cellar.

"Thank you! Thank you!" He was out of sight in an instant.

"I don't think he did anything Tommy." Kevin put the gun in the back of his pants and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I guess it really doesn't matter now does it?" Tommy shook his head and left the bar to hail a cab. In a matter of seconds both Joey and Kevin were beside him.

"Did you lock up?" Tommy turned back to them just as the cab stopped in front of them.

"Yup." Joey tossed the keys back to him.

"So what's the plan, where are we going?" Kevin got into the back along with Joey.

"The plan is, we make sure Sarah doesn't get herself killed for us," Tommy closed the door and gave the driver directions for 40 Deuce.

* * *

**Go on to read**

**GOD**


	25. Meeting

**Meeting**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in**

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Okay," they all took a deep breath as Tommy opened the trunk to get the weapons. "Let's go."

Somewhat confidently, all four brothers walked up the road to the bar.

Coming around the South side as Tommy suggested, Kevin and Jimmy knocked out both of the men at the door, quickly and quietly with the bats. They didn't even see it coming. Going in just after them, Sean and Tommy shoot the two inside the door at almost the same time. The four of then continued to kill in waves until they made their way downstairs. As they made their way down the stairs, one of the men got up from the ground, taking a bottle to Kevin's back.

"Ahhh! Damn it!" Kevin turned around to face the bleeding Italian just before Seany shot him in the head.

"Make sure they're dead before you turn your back on them!" Jimmy laughed as they traveled further downstairs.

"You all right?" Tommy paused.

"Yeah," Kevin kicked the body, "thanks."

With all three of his brothers behind him, Tommy opened fire on the door to the meeting room. Kevin, Jimmy and Seany followed suit until Tommy held up his hand for them to stop. He waited for a moment, listening for any kind of movement from inside but there was nothing.

Standing back, Tommy kicked the door open to see Alo and Nicky bleeding in opposite corners of the room. As Nicky made eye contact with Tommy, he reached out with his gun but couldn't get a round off before Tommy shot him dead in the chest. Flashbacks of Huey and Sal flooded his mind as Nicky fell back dead against the wall. Tommy turned to shoot Alo but not before Jimmy shot him instead.

"Sorry Tommy, I've been waiting for that for a while now."

Tommy stood in silence looking at the two men dead on the floor. The plan had always made so much sense up until that moment. Now the question plagued him, what happens next?

"Tommy! TOMMY!" Jimmy finally snapped him out of his daze. "Come on, we've gotta go, the cops will be here any minute!" He practically had to pull Tommy out of the room and up stairs.

Running down the street with bats and guns in their hands, they made their to the car. Fumbling with the weapons in his hands, Sean grabbed the keys from his pocket and opened the door, opening all the other doors when he got inside.

"Pop the trunk!" Kevin yelled collecting the guns and bats from his brothers and throwing them in the trunk.

"Let's go!" Seany yelled back as Kevin shut the trunk and hopped in the backseat.

Screeching the tires, Seany took off as fast as the old car would allow.

"Woo hoo!" Jimmy excitedly punched the headrest in front of him, hitting Sean in the back of the head. "Yeah! Those bastards didn't even know what was coming!"

"Jimmy! I'm trying to drive here!" Sean yelled back.

Just then, Kevin's phone rang from underneath Jimmy.

"Woah! What the hell? There's something vibrating in my ass!" He pulled the phone out from under him.

"Seany, you can slow down now, we don't want to draw any unneeded attention." Tommy warned.

"Hello?" Kevin quickly flipped open the phone. "Holly..."

"Holly?" Tommy turned around, "is that Holly?"

"Why? Shit, okay." He hung up.

"What did she say?" Tommy asked anxiously.

"Nothing really, she..."

"Kevin, what did she say?! What's happening at the hospital?" Tommy grabbed hold of his brother's jacket.

"I dunno okay! She just said that we should get there right away."

"Shit," Tommy let out under his breath. "Shit!" The weight of everything that was happening, drilling down into his chest so hard he thought he might go into arrest. Sean looked up at Tommy who rested his head on the glass window staring at the blur of images outside the window as they sped down the road towards the hospital.

"She's gonna be fine," Jimmy reached up to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's Sarah, she's tough as nails, she's gonna be fine Tommy." Kevin looked over at Jimmy, then up to Sean in the rear-view mirror, who looked back at him skeptically and equally worried. They all knew how much Sarah meant to Tommy. She was his whole world and the only thing keeping him remotely sane after the Italian's attack on them.

**Go on to read**

**COLD WATER**


	26. Cold Water

**Cold Water**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in **

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

AN: I was listening to Damien Rice's Cold Water when I wrote this and I fund it fits the mood I'm trying to convey perfectly. So, if you would, take a listen before reading this chapter.

His heart raced inside his chest, so fast he could barely breathe until they pulled up to the dock of the hospital. Even before Sean had stopped the car, Tommy was out and down the hallway towards reception.

"Sheehan, Sarah is she here? Where is she? Is she okay?" Tommy berated the receptionist with questions.

"Tommy!" Holly called to him, coming down the hallway.

"Holly, what's going on? Is she okay? What happened?" His heart was beating so fast his chest hurt. All she could do as look up at him, she had no idea what to say.

"Holly..." But the look on her face said it all. It was as if someone had sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. His chest tightened and his breath caught. His knees buckled and he would have fallen to the floor if Kevin and Sean hadn't caught him first.

"No, no, Holly please," was all he could get out.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry Tommy," Holly knelt down with him, tears now streaming down her face.

"I need to see her," he stood up with the help of his brothers. "I need t see her." He tried to push his way past Holly.

"Tommy, you can't! She's gone. Tommy, she's gone." Holly held him back. He stared down the hallway at nothing, just trying everything he could to not let what she said be true, though he knew there was no way to change it. "Sarah!" He pushed Holly aside and began to run down the hallway but didn't get far before his brothers stopped him again.

"Tommy! Stop!" It took All three of his brothers to hold him back from running further down the corridor.

"Sarah! Sarah!" He cried out for her fighting the brothers who stood in his way.

"Tommy! She's gone! She's gone man," Jimmy held his brother as he reached out for her.

"I didn't say anything. I didn't say goodbye. I didn't tell her I loved her. I didn't..." he stopped fighting and just stood in the middle of the hall, his older brother trying to find the right words to comfort him.

"You!" They all turned around to see Bryan Sheehan coming at them with pure hellfire and grief in his eyes. "You! You bastard! You took my Babby away from me! You little Shiite!" Bryan plunged himself at Tommy who did nothing to stop the blows he rained down on him. He couldn't even feel the barrage of hits to his face and chest. His brothers scrambled to pry Bryan from off of Tommy.

"Stop it! Mr. Sheehan stop!" Holly yelled from the side just as security came running down the hall.

"She was all I had Tommy! She was everything to me! And you stole her from me! You bastard! You took my baby girl away from me!" He fought against the security guards as Sean and Jimmy helped Tommy up off the ground.

Tommy said nothing, rising to his feet with the help of his brothers. The security guards pulled Bryan away, into another section of the hospital, as everyone in the vicinity just watched in shock and silence. Tommy stood looking off into space, trying to make any kind of sense out of what had just happened.

"Tommy?" Holly took his hand in hers and for a moment, with more hope then sense, he thought it was Sarah's. The second he looked at their fingers entwined, his heart sank even further. "Tommy?" He finally looked up at her.

"I deserve it," he said solemnly, with tears in his eyes. "He's right. If it wasn't for me..."

"Let's get you cleaned up okay?" Holly faked a smile for him. He said nothing as she began to lead him down the hall.

"We're going with him," Kevin looked at the others then back at them.

"If it's okay, we'd like to stay with him," Jimmy looked back at Kevin then at Tommy, "Is that all right?"

"I shouldn't be long. Just give us a sec okay?" She smiled back at them before turning back to Tommy as they walked towards one of the private rooms just down the hall.

Opening the door, she let go of his hand and sat him down on the bed, gathering her tools and gauze.

"I'm so sorry Tommy. I just couldn't over the phone, you know?" She grabbed a stool and sat down in front of him. Putting on her gloves, she dampened some gauze with alcohol and wiped the blood from his face. Where anyone else would have cringed or hissed, he didn't even blink. He just sat silently while she worked, cleaning away the blood and dirt from his wounds.

"She loved you, you know. Talked about you all the time, never stopped. Hell I feel like I know you, the way she talked about you," Holly smiled as she applied the bandage to his forehead. "It was like Christmas for her every time you showed up at the restaurant, defying her father like that. She loved it." Holly sniffled back tears. "Took your picture everywhere, that one of you and her at the street carnival late last year," she reminisced as she wiped the last of the blood from his face with gauze. "There, all done." They sat for a moment in awkward silence before she took his hand again.

"Tommy, if you ever need to talk..."

"Thanks Holly," he squeezed her hand, "for everything." He nodded before standing up and leaving the room.

Kevin, Jimmy and Sean all stood up when they saw Tommy coming back towards them.

"Let's go home," Jimmy put a warm hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm sure Ma's up waiting for us." Sean ran off to get the car while Jimmy and Kevin stood on either side of Tommy, both silently hoping he wouldn't collapse again.

Jimmy looked at his little brother, wishing he could do something, anything to take some of his pain away. Even though Tommy was younger than him, he had always looked up to him because of how strong he had always been in stressful times. But now, now Tommy looked beaten, deflated, worn. He hadn't seen him like this since their father died all those years back and it hurt him deeply to see his brother like that.

Jimmy watched Tommy silently until Sean came around with the car. Putting a hand on his shoulder, Jimmy opened the back door and helped Tommy into the car. Walking around to the other side he got in along with Kevin and without a word to one another, they made their way back home.

**Go on to read **

**REMEMBER**


	27. God

**God**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in**

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

"Jimmy! Get in!" Kevin called to his older brother who was walking with his girlfriend down the street, probably on their way to her apartment.

"Sorry man, Joanie and I got things to do." He leaned in to the window as Sean pulled up. "What are you guys doing? Where all you going?"

"Sarah took a gun and is going to 40 Deuce," Seany piped up.

"What? Why?" Jimmy shook his head in his n disbelief.

"Jimmy?" Joanie walked up beside him. "Hey guys what's going on?" With her eyelids red, Joanie smiled into the car looking at everyone.

"Joanie, baby, I gotta go okay?" Jimmy turned to her.

"But Jimmy, you said we could try that new stuff together," she lowered her voice a bit.

"I know, I know, but Sarah's missing and we need to go find her okay? You get me?"

"Sarah's missing? She was nice to me when I met her. Where'd se go?"

"That's what we have to go find out honey, okay?" Jimmy kissed her cheek.

"Jimmy!" Joanie whined pathetically.

"I'll see you soon baby!" Jimmy yelled to her from the backseat of the car.

"Jimmy!" she all but had a seizure on the sidewalk, screaming after him as they drove away.

"So what do you mean Sarah's going to 40 Deuce? Like to meet the Italians?" Jimmy chewed loudly on his gum.

"She's tired of all the crap and she wants to end it." Kevin filled him in.

"Shut up! You don't even know what you're taking about Kevin!" Tommy turned around to face them.

"I seen it Tommy. I seen what they did to her that night at the firecracker." Kevin pointed at him. "You can't deny that."

"Shut up Kevin! You don't know what you're talking about all right! It's more than that!" Tommy yelled back.

"Tommy," Sean interrupted.

"Just drive Seany!"

"We're almost there, should we pull up or park up the road here?"

"Drive right up, everyone ready?" He could hear the guns clicking in the seats behind him

"I've been wanting to do this since forever ago. Those scumbag Italians won't know what hit 'em!" Jimmy squirmed anxiously in his seat.

"There! Pull over!" Tommy yelled as two men ran out of the bar holding guns. Almost before the car had completely stopped Tommy and Jimmy were dashing down the sidewalk towards the doors. As soon as they stepped inside they stopped. There was one man dead in the booth to the right, slumped over the table. Another man was shot dead by the door leading down to the basement.

"Sarah?!" They all took slow, careful steps through the bar. "Sarah!" Tommy called for her. Signaling to his older brother, they both carefully made their way down the stairs to the room where Alo and Nicky would meet . Lining the walls on the way down were swatches of blood on and drops all over the floor heading up and down the stairs.

Standing on either side of the door, Tommy counted to three before kicking open the door and bursting in with Jimmy behind him to find Alo and Nicky both shot dead in their seats, a cigar still burning on the floor just under Alo's hand where he must have dropped it. As soon as he saw it, images of Sa and Huey flashed through his head.

"She really cleaned up huh Tommy?" Jimmy smiled kicking Nicky's limp foot under the table. "Finally got what you deserve huh Nicky?" Jimmy smiled down at his dead body. "I'm just kind of upset that I didn't get to do it myself, you know?!" Jimmy chuckled, picking up the money, which was strewn all over the floor.

"Sarah!" Tommy called out again, looking behind the couches.

"Tommy! TOMMY!" He heard Joey call from upstairs. Without even a second thought, he ran upstairs, taking two steps at a time. "Tommy! Hurry!" He heard Joey calling from behind the bar. Pulling him out of the way, he saw Sarah with her eyes closed, bleeding on the ground with his gun still in her hand.

"Sarah?" His breath quickened a the sight of her on the ground. Pieces of shattered bottles were strewn all around her, the shards still in her hair.

"Did you find her? What happened? Is she okay?" Everyone around began to ask questions.

"Sarah?!" He began to panic when she didn't answer. "Sarah?" He bent over, putting his ear to her face.

"Tommy we have to get out of here quick! The cops are going to be here any minute!" Sean looked out the window anxiously.

"She's breathing!" He took the gun from her hand and handed it back to Joey who had been standing anxiously behind him. "Come on," he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her up towards him.

"Seany! Get the car!" He picked her up in both of his arms and headed for the door.

Sean stood stunned at the sight of Sarah covered in what looked like pints of her own blood.

"Seany! The car!" Kevin slapped him on the arm, snapping him out of his gaze. Tearing in front of Tommy, he grabbed the keys from his pocket and ran for the car, getting in and starting the engine as quickly s possible.

"Help me!" Tommy called for Joey to open the rear passenger's side door. Standing on the opposite side, Joey pulled Sarah through the car door just enough for Tommy to sit down with her head in his lap. "Get out of here!" He yelled at his brothers standing on the sidewalk. "Kevin, take the guns apart and throw them off the pier you got me?!" He yelled just as Joey closed the door.

Just then Sarah began to choke, gasping for air in his lap. "Tommy'" he heard his name gurgle from her lips.

"Sarah! Hold on okay! Damn it! Why the hell would you do that?!"

"Is she gonna be okay?" Sean called back to them, driving as fast as he could.

"Just drive!"

"Tommy.."

"I'm driving! I'm driving!"

"Tommy," she reached for his hand until he grasped it.

"Sarah, why did you do it? God damn it Sarah, you can't die right now, okay?" He lowered his voice, lifting her head up to his, "You can't leave me. Please." He squeezed her hand, brushing the hair out of her face.

"Tommy.." was all she could get out. Her whole body felt like it was engulfed in flames, every inch of her skin burning, barely able to feel him holding on to her hand. She struggled to talk, the side of her bleeding profusely even with Tommy's hand now pressing into the wound.

"Sarah, I'm sorry about everything, everything. I love you and I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"Poppa..." her eyes flitted open and closed. "Daddy," tears rolled down her cheek, washing away the blood on her face.

"You'll get to see him, I swear Sarah, just stay awake for me, okay? Just stay awake." He shook his head desperately. "Seany!"

"Almost there!" He skidded in and out of traffic, at one point driving up on the sidewalk to avoid oncoming traffic.

"Tommy," she breathed calmly. So calmly that it scared Tommy.

"Sarah," he looked down at her looking back up at him with what seemed to be a hint of a smile in her eyes.

"I love you Tommy," she reached up to touch his face, wiping the tear that would have fallen down on her.

"Sarah," he lifted her up to him kissing her with all that he had in him. He could feel the coldness of her lips against his, and though she seemed calm, her heart beat heavily against his chest. "Please," he whispered between their touching lips. "Please, God."

But it was to late. He felt the fierce beating of her heart slow and suddenly stop, her hand dropping from his face and her had dropping back into his lap.

"We're here!" Sean yelled back at them.

"Jesus," he panted, unable to take a deep breath. His head swirled with so many thoughts of regret and guilt and anger and sadness that it hurt to just keep his eyes open.

"Aaaahhhhh!" He let out a yell so fierce, Sean slammed on the breaks in the emergency dock.

"Tommy?!" He turned around to see his brother covered in blood and Sarah limp in his arms. "Tommy? Is she?"

"Sir you can't park..." a paramedic looking in the window stopped at the sight of them in the back seat.

"We need a stretcher and IV over here!" He ripped the back door open. Tommy just looked up at the paramedic who assessed the two of them.

"Are you hurt? Son, are you hurt?" He just shook his head no as two others helped him pull Sarah out of the car.

"Tommy?" Sean looked back at his brother who just sat quietly with tears in his eyes, running down his face. "Tommy?" Sean whispered, tapping gently on his knee which was soaked in blood. Tommy said nothing but watched as they scrambled around to strap Sarah to a stretcher and feed an IV into her.

She was gone, he knew it. He didn't want to, but he knew it, and it killed him.

**Go on to read**

**REMEMBER**


	28. Remember

**Remember**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in**

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

It was almost two weeks later and Tommy hadn't been able to leave Sarah's bed. He had been lying here ever since they left the hospital and for some reason his body wouldn't let him get up. Thankfully his brothers had convinced him to go home and clean himself up after before he went there. He had half expected Sarah's father to walk in at any point but he never came, not even once.

So he just lay there, looking around at the things in her room, holding on to her sweater that he had bought for her for the street carnival earlier that year. It was unusually cold he remembered, and she hadn't brought a jacket with her. He inhaled the scent of her into him, aching to have just some little bit of her back. But it was no use. He knew she was gone, so why couldn't he let her go?

With melancholy song Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap playing softly over the clock radio, he got up out of the bed, walking over to the closet and opening it up. He passed his hand over each of her shirts and pants, remembering what she looked like in each and every one of them, how her favourite jeans hugged her body perfectly and how overly upset she became when they ripped at the knee.

Noticing a shoebox on top of the shelf, he pulled it down taking it over to the bed. Sitting down he opened it up to reveal a collection of trinkets and souvenirs of their relationship together. On the top was the receipt from their first date at the Firecracker. It actually surprised him that whoever was working actually gave her a receipt in the first place, making him smile.

Setting that aside he reached in and pulled out the necklace he had given her from that same day at the carnival. It was plastic and gaudy but she had been so happy when he had presented it to her after knocking down all the standing pins. She as so proud of him and he missed her even more for that. She had always let him know how she felt about him, how proud she was of him and how happy he made her.

Amongst the other objects in the box, buried at bottom was a piece of paper that had been folded in half. Pulling it out and opening it up, his heart jumped at the sight of his own face looking up at him. It was a pencil crayon sketch of him sitting and sketching at her drafting table. When they had first met, he would often join her in her room to paint or sketch or draw. She insisted he make some time for it as she knew how much he had loved to in school and how much he missed it. It made him happy that _she_ looked out for _him_ when he had neglected his own thoughts and desires. And she would never again be there to remind him to think about himself for a change.

Just as he felt himself begin to break down he heard the front door open, startling him. Sitting up on the bed he waited in silence until her father, Bryan appeared at the bedroom door.

"Mr. Sheehan, I'm sorry. Lemmie explain, I just..." Tommy stood up immediately facing him.

"I'm sorry, I had a key and I just wanted to.."

"Be close to her I know," he answered quietly shaking his head. "I know, that's why I'm here meself. Sit down son," he motioned for him to sit. Tommy sat down shocked and surprised that he wasn't trying to kill him.

"Mr. Sheehan?"

"It's Bryan boy, Bryan." He shook his head, still not having looked at hime since he walked in the door.

"Bryan," Tommy nodded. As he reached for Sarah's sweater again he noticed that Bryan was holding what must have been a piece of Sarah's baby clothes. A small green t-shirt with the word 'Ireland' printed in white on the front.

"She got this the first time the three of us all went to Ireland together to visit my folks. It was her first time, she was just a wee girl," he sat down on the chair over by the drafting table, staring intensely at the shirt in his hands. "She was so small, looked just like her mother," he sighed.

"Bryan," Tommy gripped the sweater in his hands tightly, "I'm sorry sir, I really am. I'm so sorry," he let a tear escape, burning it's way down his face.

"So am I son," he sniffled, so am I."

"Sir you have nothing to be sorry for, Sarah loved you and she knew how much you loved her, there was no mistaking that. You raised a beautiful, intelligent and independent woman."

"I'm not sorry about that Tommy, not al all. I raised my Babby right," he inhaled deeply shaking his head. "What I'm sorry about," he finally looked up at him, "is that I had raised her to be independent but tried to hold her back."

"What? How? You let her live on her own, helped to pay for her tuition, helped her to earn everything she had..." Tommy looked around the room at all of her things.

"She loved you Tommy, she loved you and she wanted to be with you and I just said no."

"Mr. Sheehan," Tommy tried to empathize.

"It's Bryan damn it, and it's true. I wanted her to have nothing to do with you, nothing at all. And it wasn't because I didn't trust you or your family, it was simply because of your heritage, the fact that you were Black Irish and I know that's not right."

"It's okay Bryan, really, I..."

"Damn it boy, would you just let me finish without interrupting me once? Please!" He snapped, although Tommy knew he was just trying to be honest and open up to him. Tommy nodded pulling the sweater up to his chest.

"I shouldn't have put you off just because of who your great grandparents were. She loved you heart and soul and that should have been enough me, should have just tried to accept you both instead of letting gossip fill up my head," he choked back tears which made Tommy feel both sad and uncomfortable at the 180° turn around in his behavior. "Now the closest thing I have to her," he looked up at him, "The closest thing I have to her is you."

His sad, hard eyes looked at him and Tommy could see the longing in them. "She begged me to accept you, and in my own ignorance, I couldn't get past my own hatred. Now my hatred is my shame and regret. I could have made her happy, I could have accepted you as she asked me to and I know it would have sent her over the moon," he looked back down at the shirt in his hands. "But I didn't." He shook his head, the emotions breaking him down to tears. "But I'll be damned if I won't do it now." He wiped his tears and took a deep breath, standing up and walking over to Tommy who stood up to face him.

"Boy," he began to cry, "I am _so_ very sorry for treating you the way I did. It was own ignorance and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he sobbed into the shirt in his hands. Feeling for him and being able to relate, Tommy placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. Unexpectedly, Bryan rose to his feet and hugged Tommy, crying into his shoulder, apologizing over and over again and calling her name.

Tommy could think of nothing else to do other than hold the man tightly, patting his back. He knew how much it must have taken to say what he did and he knew that it was what Sarah had wanted more than anything, for them to accept each other.

And as he cried, Tommy thought to himself, 'this is what Sarah meant, this is what she was trying to say.'" Sarah had said that Tommy was lucky to have his mother and his three brothers. All Bryan had had was Sarah, and now she was gone and he really _was _alone. The closest living thing Bryan now had to the only family he had left in the world was Tommy.

Bryan pulled away from him sniffing, placing one hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"Thank you son," he nodded, "for loving my Babby the way you did and in spite of me. She loved you very much."

"I love her very much sir," Tommy bowed his head, looking at her sweater on the bed.

"Uh," Bryan looked down at his jacket pulling something out of his pocket. "She was always thinking ahead, a little to much if you ask me."

"Sorry?"

"Sarah had actually made a will not too long ago, maybe a couple of months back."

"Sarah made a will?" Tommy shook his head surprised. He didn't even have a will and he something was much more likely to happen to him.

"Yes she did, and she wanted me to give these to you." Bryan handed him a large, brown envelope and a set of keys."

"What's this?"

"I'm not sure what's in the envelope but those arethe keys to the apartment, she wants you to have it." Bryan nodded still wiping his face of tears.

"Me? Stay here? In her apartment?"

"Do what you will with it son, she's left the lease in your name."

"Thank you sir."

"For the last time boy..."

"Bryan, thank you Bryan."

"Son," Bryan headed for the door. "I hope one day you'll learn to forgive me."

Tommy turned to face him holding onto the keychain and envelope. Taking a deep breath he looked up at Bryan, now standing in the front doorway. "I knew how you felt, but I never blamed you Bryan, not once."

Bryan smiled sadly in the doorway, "You're a good lad Tommy Donnelly. I'll be seeing you and your family at the restaurant then?"

"Of course." Tommy nodded back. Bryan forced one last smile before closing the door behind him.

* * *

**Go on to read**

**LETTERS**


	29. Letters

**Letters**

**I do not own / am not associated with the NBC show The Black Donnelly's in**

**any way.**

**(Unfortunately...)**

Letting all that just happened sink in, Tommy slowly made his way back over to the bedroom, sitting himself down on the bed with the keys and the envelope.

Setting the keys down on the side table, he carefully opened the envelope. Inside was an 8x11 picture of the two of them. The same one she used to keep at her bedside table. Her smiling face flooded back memories of her, of them, together, tugging at his heart. Standing the picture up against the lamp he took out another smaller envelope. Inside that one was a hand written letter addressed to him.

_Tommy,_

_I was hoping you would never have to read this letter, and that my father wouldn't have to read the one I gave him, but sometimes things in life don't go as planned and so you always have to plan for anything, even the worst._

_You're probably wondering when I wrote this. In truth, I've had a will since I was 19 years old, and have just changed it, as it was needed. You have become a large and important part of my life and so you should be included._

_Tommy, over the past seven months, I have fallen so in love with you, so much more than I ever thought I would. I would do just about anything for you. Anything. _

_Over the past seven months I have also come to learn that all is not as it seems. You are, or were in trouble with the Italians. I know it's more than what you'd have me believe, and I thank you for trying to shield me from it all. But I know._

_I'm sorry that we didn't get to have a life together. I'm sorry we didn't get to have a family together; I know you would have liked that, as would I. Maybe we could have moved out of the city and raised our little girl together. I know you would have made a fantastic father for her, though I might think twice about asking your brothers to baby-sit. ___

_Tommy every time I look at you I see how much you struggle. Everyday for you is a struggle to make things work for everyone else, your brothers, your mother, Jenny, me. You do so much and give so much to everyone else and expect nothing in return. Like I've said before, in the end that will get you nowhere. You have to look out for yourself just as much, if not, more than others. _

_This is why I have left you the apartment. It, and everything in it is yours. My father had set it up for me as a rent-to-buy and it's all paid off. My wish is that you find a little sanctuary in it, a place to do your schoolwork, somewhere we can be close to one another. _

_You're not in school now, but I've left you the rest of my savings for school so you can enroll again. All the supplies you'll need to start classes you can find in and around the apartment. Please, go back to school and paint. You are a fantastic artist. Yes, you are._

_The only thing I ask in return is that you take care of yourself and your family. Keep an eye on my father for me. He's stubborn, but he's a good man who is full of love and compassion. You just have to coax it out. Be patient with him as I've asked him to be with you. _

_I love you Tommy Donnelly, more than I even knew was possible. Thank you for giving me the best time of my life. Never regret anything, as I don't regret a single moment I spent with you. It was worth it._

_You are worth it._

_Forever in my heart,_

_Sarah Sheehan_

Tommy wiped his face of the free flowing tears, and folded the paper back up. Bringing it to his lips, he inhaled the scent of lilacs before placing a gentle kiss to the paper.

Looking around the apartment it hit him, she had left him everything she had ever possessed, everything she had worked for in her life. Everything. She had also known that the baby was a girl. A girl. He would have had a daughter. Sarah had be planning this for him, just in case anything had ever happened to her, and yet the possibility that something like this could have happened didn't maker her love him any less.

Again, she had put him before herself, and after everything she had gone through because of him, she died still in love with him.

He put the paper on the bed, picking back up her sweater. He held it close to him, traces of her flowery perfume still clung to it. Unable to control himself, he broke down, sobbing heavily into her shirt.

Curling up on the bed, he cried himself to sleep, dreaming of Sarah throughout the night.

**THE END**


End file.
